Desolate or Fullness?

mi familia

I’m the ‘baby’ of the fam.. what that means is you often feel “special” when you grow up… and even when your don’t feel special- you feel special because your have a lot of favor, with everyone in the fam. For this reason I’ve favored, I believe ‘special relationships” have always been like really important to me. Growing up, I would try to make every kid I know feel special… especially the little friends I had who were easily hurt by words because they didn’t look like everyone else, smell like everyone else, or have a family like everyone else.

They

The ‘friends’ I knew would be people lI found time to be kind to because I knew they didn’t have the same resources I had, or seemed lonely. My mother noted that when young, I was really compassionate. I didn’t understand how people who had so many needs could be treated so unkind by others. It just didn’t seem fair. And so, whenever I could, I would try to smile or talk to them and just be a kind face and notice them. My mother taught me the importance of kindness. She was a teacher, and would take me to school sometimes with her and she’s show me how to treat the kids kindly – because some of them had special needs, in her classroom setting. I learned how to be considerate of others, very young. My mother didn’t know, (or perhaps she did know) that I was a “social worker in the making.”

Family was important to me when i small, and still is important. Several of my siblings are compassionate. I have a sibling who have bee pastors, another who’s been a coach, and several who are social workers in my family. When I was little my big brothers and sister were ‘everything’ to me. This ‘specialness’ I found came with certain privileges- and because of the privileges – I’ve always was wanted to be around them, up under them, would try to sleep in my brothers rooms often and my sisters , too…at times. Some would call it spoiled, other would call it ‘well-loved’.. and whatever it was , i’m learning today, it was really ok. It didn’t ruin me. This kind treatment showed me how to love on’ folk. And that was just plain ole’ goodness.

I remember most of this goodness as being special memories with my family- how as a family we’d go on long car rides to the country ; and go to cabins in the woods ; trip rides to LaGrange, GA and do things together as a fam… because that was family to us. I just loved being with my family.

Family was so special, It never occurred to me that one day I wouldn’t have my own biological children. I am grateful for those who have become family, for me and weren’t even related to me. My womb did not naturally produce my own children, and this is huge. I have what i consider to be “children” who are mine, and others have birthed – yet they are my kids, because spiritually I’ve played a huge part in their development. ( They may not know it, but I’ve been there.) There’s a scripture in the Bible that says: “more are the children of the desolate one-she will have many more children.”Galatians 4:7 This means something to me. (It means I have more children than I really know.)

I searched the word ‘desolate’ & it led me to the word agape. Agape means a “God-kind of love”- in the purest sense of the word it means the highest kind of love you can give humans. I had to pause here, because it made me think less about what I didn’t have, and although children were never born from my womb; the children I couldn’t have – gave me a greater love that was borne for those who needed it, perhaps even more than those born with their naturals parents. And “crossed my paths” they did! Crazy . Inasmuch as I would have loved to have bio children, the blessing of not having children has made me more spacious for welcoming and cherishing and inviting more ‘children ‘ in – more space to love on and be warm and kind to those who come across my path to nurture more fully.

Agape love is a love that’s redemptive; lasting and eternal. It’s more than enough. Hmm…Fits perfectly.

Grateful to know God chose me as His ‘carrier’ of such love. I’m definitely feeling the impact and the grace it’s left over these 54 years of life and in my profession, ministry and life path. As a teacher, professor a social worker, chaplain, leader, diversity trainer, missionary, therapist and life coach… life has shown ‘my children’ to have so much more because I had the precious time to invest in them.
Selah.🦋

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Advertisement

She Rocked This.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Christine Mason Miller (@christinemasonmiller)

She rocked this. Christine Mason Miller, that is .

What makes someone want to do this? I think I am going to ask her and then come back with her answer. This is awesome.

Sending messages around the world that are significant thoughts and contemplate change.

Selah. *( Pause and calmly think of that.)

Here’s her answer: “Snail mail has been one of my super powers for a long time. And this tradition of sending out small messages to anyone who needed one started years ago.. I find it especially potent these days with most of our lives taking place on a screen.”

Self-Determination

I’m self determined. Yeah, that didn’t come easy though. It took a few great leaps of faith. It was the spring of 2005, and I was in  rat race for time. I was determined to move onward my life, and relocate to Maryland. I was almost done with my divorce and I needed to breathe. And my breathing became very very labored, as I was  preparing to leave Syracuse, N.Y.

Self determination began for me, with a HUGE commitment to myself that I would never again get in a relationship that was going nowhere. No promises, no commitments, no effort. And that was  the first self -commitment . I held onto that, until later that October of 2005, until later that year, God messed up my plans .

The second determined fact was  – that I needed a new  start. A new job and a better and more intriguing place to live . I had friends in Maryland. And surely with the money I’d saved, I could truly begin anew.

I remember it clearly.

I wrote down my dreams . Where I wanted to go… and  I ” built a spiritual  altar…” – so to speak… I placed it right above my head  so that  it was the first thing I saw when I awakened,  in my lofty bedroom,  in  Utica, NY.

I lived in with  two  college roommates in  Hamilton, N.Y. And here I was .. long out of college, but seeking a new  way of life.  I would awaken and the first thing I would do, was  pray.   I began to thank (God) and I worshiped Him for where I was going. I began to affirm highly with thanksgivings into God where I was going to go. I’d  read my card,  give thanks, and proclaim it as a prosperous place.

With the  cultural  holiday of Kwaanza , they call self -determination: “Kuji-cha-gulia”. After what was entirely messy year – I  was almost at the end of  2005, and had ended up taking on three part time jobs  ( at the same time)  to  survive, and was about to  lose my apartment. ‘

I was  in  a very agitated and  anxious state.  I had just met my husband to be, but I didn’t  even know it.  He would call me daily and pray with me.  At that  time, he had resorted to just be my friend, and pray with me, since I was a having a hard time. I had  told myself  that  I would   have to move back to N.Y. if I didn’t  find a cheaper  apt.  And then…. it just happened.

  Every thing I spoke into existence   eight months earlier, just started happening. One after the other.  The job, the home, the  increase in pay… etc. My  husband to be became  the love of my life that October,  and six months later I relocated to Texas with an even better paying job. But  here is all the misfortune that occurred before  that  happened: my money bottomed out , I quit the $7 dollar an hour job ; lost  a few   of my friends; and failed  the test I thought would help me find a better paying job. I was all alone, at one point,  but I was okay with that. I had been alone with God before.

But I learned something about myself and …God. That you have to believe in your dreams.  Not matter what bottoms out, you still have to keep dreaming. And just when it appears those dreams won’t manifest , God will come through.

The Life Lesson:

God comes through because He’s so pleased you believed in Him and in your  belief in His ability to pull  you through.

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.