Feel.

I guess I could’ve chosen another word this month, for July to focus on, but as a Nation, I believe this is where we are. I chose “Feel“.

America is changing. There are many things that have occurred that causes trauma to bring out actions that were once hidden and contained in one space – to open up into the main arena- which often is the community, at large or even small communities as of late.

The mass murders that have occurred over the past few months have caused me to put a few projects on hold and to take take to be present to you feelings, lately. I am not feeling just for myself, but I find myself feelings for others, as well.

The victims, the perpetrators, the communities affected. And I’ve been doing the only thing I know how- which involves prayer, and open lamenting. Open lamenting involves talking about the grief , and the actions and behaviors and losses I don’t quite understand. I choose to feel.

I am still feeling. And possibly will be all year- who knows… Because someone has to. Someone has to make the things people numb out to – be at the forefront. And if that’s what I do by writing, so be it.

Someone has to speak to the pain, the hurt, the challenges, the shifting of this world as it evolves. Sometimes faster than we are changing ourselves. Someone has to respond with love, encouragement, to love this life with freedom even when it seems it’s too risky to go out in communities for fear of being harmed.

I used to live on the Arkansas River in Tulsa, Ok. And this photo above was a place where I considered to be my safe space. When things began to shift and change, I would walk the path alongside the river and it would calm me. Until one day the river overflowed its banks. And it was in my backyard. We had to move. We shifted. And not reluctantly, at all. We just knew it was time. So together, we shifted with the way life was leading us.

Even as things shift and change in your life, find yourself safe space. As life shifts and challenges, you and atrocities happen all around. Remember also what “centers” you. Remember to ” give thanks” even when it’s hard to. Keep a heart of gratitude.

We need to have a certain level of adaptability to life, when things shift. We cannot choose numbness, or indifference, or ” anger” as our way of dealing; because it may cause self- sabotage, or systemic sabotage, or even resentments and hate. We have to tap into where love is. We cannot freeze up. We must feel.

Pray. Cry. Deal with and talk about how you feel about women’s rights, death, loss, grief, murder. Don’t distance yourself, don’t ‘veg out’ on TV.

Feel. Believe. Trust.

Even if believing is a challenge.

Choose to feel. Allow yourself to breathe. Because when challenges sometimes happen , the first thing we do is hold our breaths.

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Encourage Yourself.

Wow… when life gets tough, where do YOU turn? Encourage is my word I chose to follow for April of 2022. ( It’s been a long April for me, and it’s only half way there.)

It’s been a tough one , this month, with the war in Ukraine, seeing all its devastation, and the people having to leave their country, I cannot imagine what that’s like – leaving all you have ever known, and having to uproot and move from your family to thrive again. As a contemplator by nature, I have found some of the news from this Ukraine war to be very moving, and at times I struggle trying to understand why someone could be so hard hearted towards a people who have done no wrong. On top of this, and a few other personal concerns during the month of April, have caused me to think about my family, my personhood, and my friendships in such a way that I have not considered before. I have been trying my best to be mindful.

What I keep coming back to, again and again is how mindfulness centers me, when situations in life are chaotic. I am a therapist, by profession, a mental health therapist – who has taken a long break from professional therapy, very intentionally – to do some healing myself. It has been the best decision for me, I am finding. I learned a lot about mindfulness, and I don’t think I have shared very much on this blog, about it. That may change significantly.

I have a very peaceful way of finding sleep, when I am a bit restless at night. I usually begin to imagine myself as a pebble, and I am skipping across a pond. Once I hit the water, (as a pebble), I imagine myself falling… and as I am falling , the waters surrounding me are multi-colored and beautiful , glistening and I just fall, until I find sleep. I am very present to what is happening around me as I fall – the colors, the sounds, and the ambiance. I may have to throw the pebble three or four times, but most often the first time, is the charm…and I am asleep. Just like that. It amazes me every single time how quickly I find sleep. I suggest you try it, if you have the same trouble, sometimes.

Mindfulness is how I stay encouraged, and to be honest, it can be quite the task. It takes time to cultivate, and develop the routine of it. So …I am recommending a really good book that’s helped me this month to stay focused. It’s called The Light Maker’s Manifesto – by Karen Walrond. Karen gives several interviews on the book of people who are activists in their own right – who just have a cause they live for, and they discuss a myriad of ways they remain faithful to their call and use mindful listening even, to stay present to the call. I LOVE THIS. In fact, I love everything about this book. Karen is someone I have been following on her blog ( http://www.chookooloonks.com ) for several years, and I have sincerely gleaned a lot about life, photography and living – for quite a few years.

The Lightmaker’s Manifesto – By Karen Walrond

In one section she speaks of how to maintain rhythm and how to take care of yourself in such a way that you thrive. And since “Rhythm” was my word last month, and I didn’t write about it, I thought I would share.

Essentially, she says five factors exist:

  1. Cultivation of spirituality by leading a meaningful lifestyle. (And yes, that’s why I write this blog – to assist everyone that reads , in noticing what’s meaningful in life and sticking to your purpose within.)
  2. Taking care of yourself physically, and tapping into the connection between your mind and body so important. Tapping into the realization & connection between why my body was not aligned with my physicality over this past year – has been so enlightening and freeing for me. ( Mind you – I couldn’t do this alone- it took a bit of counseling to determine what I had to awaken to and acknowledge , in my own soul. )
  3. Intentional intellectual stimulation. ( I love this because one of my “strengthfinders” characteristics is “intellectualization”. Sometimes perspective can be so freeing. It’s how we evolve. Grow. I love sharing with others and working on adjusting my mindset and gleaning from others’ mindsets.
  4. Nurturing meaningful and constructive relationships within, and with others. I love that she says ‘within’ – so important to love yourself fully before you can love others.
  5. And lastly, not being afraid of our emotions. Not denying or suppressing them. It s so interesting how being present in this day and age with so many distractions surrounding us, is what saves us.

So, I am quite thankful for this book, ( & finding resolve through it) after a long bout with Covid, wrestling with myself and my needs as a person in a midlife situation, being in counseling – taking a break from work, being a wife and a spiritual mother to many – and caretaker of my parents. It brought a lot into focus.

Stay encouraged,

Jenn

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Shining… But Not Very Brightly.

Hello. October was all about the word Shine. So let me share what the mean it of the word emphasizes. To Shine means: To have significance: (the quality of being worthy of attention); the quality of being important. Synonyms of this special word are: to have heart, sense , understanding, force, or meaning.

I bet when you thought of Shining this wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, huh?

I chose a word that was a bit difficult to practice this month. Not because I couldn’t practice it, it was because I have to receive the word a bit differently. One of the things that caught me off guard was how much it takes to Shine… especially when you are not feeling the best.

Photography by You Are So Beautiful Photography
Me driving to work one morning.

Shining matters within, our personalities and out outer appearance, at times- and also on the outside of our lives: how we cherish moments with the special people in our lives. My momma always told me: “Actions speak louder than words.” The parts of our lives where no one notices – but you, your family and your children. It matters to them, it matters to God. That we let our “lights shine” no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing.

I’ve learned that wherever I am leaving a legacy of truth and discipline, hope, influence, purpose and good communication, those are places where I truly shine I also am shining where I am a positive and showing meaningful leadership. Where I care for others and remain positive, even when other around me, are not.

Where everyone in my life sped things up this weekend, I decided to slow it down. If I cannot hear myself for the sake of moving too fast, then I may need to turn the volume down. Am I taking time for that family member? Am I spending quality time with that loved one? Will this matter in five or ten years? Will it matter later this week? Just another positive way to think about whether “time” is mine, or it truly belongs to someone else.

Having had a birthday this past week, one of the things I am learning is to count the cost of everything… even the ones you miss. Sometimes the moments that matter most, are the ones you missed.

Why not slow it down, decided to do something different, make someone smile by choosing to do the one thing you normally would not have done, and bless them with the gift of time.

I am grateful for this month, because although I wasn’t feeling my best for most of the month, I took advantage of ‘ how I felt’, and instead of complaining , I made the most of it. And that involved shining, being grateful and giving thanks for what I have.

So when you slow it down this month, spend a little time reflecting on the Who, What, Where, Why and When… and even the “How” – ‘cause it all matters. Plan something very intentional, yet not work related. Take a Sabbath day. Change it up. Love on someone … Just because …and it will return unto you.

Share a few places where you’ve been shining lately very intentionally….

I took this on Lake Ontario, in Rochester NY

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Water & Sun.

Water and sun. They are so rejuvenating. If you’re ever feeling lost, or like the world is caving in, spend time in water near water, watching water the movement of it, the sound of it, even drinking water can be so necessary…

It’s so needed for the soul , spirit and preservation of our bodies. Perhaps that’s why we are surrounded by it on so many parts of the earth. Perhaps that’s why it has such a quality of drawing people near it, and we yearn for a sail upon it, or to swim in it. To take showers daily. To bathe.

Water is essential for living.

And even without sun, our days are dreary, and uneventful. Gloomy and discouraging, if you will. It’s not until the sun comes out we again, have vigor and satisfaction. When the sun comes out even on a cold wintry day, I am enlightened and I have hope. Sun is necessary for an essential vitamin we need to thrive . Vitamin D. Imagine that, a vitamin, made out of of the biggest lights in the sky. Someone thought of a your need – on a level you were not even fully aware of, with longevity .

This summer was so special to me. I spent a lot of time outdoors , and on the beach in quiet contemplation and in meditation with the elements of sun and water. Together, they taught me a lot. As I attempted to find answers to some things about life, it was near water where I learned to acquiesce. To let go of some thoughts and feelings I could not understand, even somethings I had trouble accepting about myself. I was able to release them. There was such a cleansing of my soul as I whispered thoughts and prayers to my Maker. Spend time in the elements of water & sun.

They were made for you .🌺

Happy Fourth!

Happy Fourth!

In this crazy world where freedoms seem to be changing and lessening, and life seems to be challenged on every side, don’t neglect yourself in practicing necessary freedoms – like finding joy in nature dancing to awesome music; cherishing family and loved ones- and just watching fireworks .

Breathe.

Laugh.

Spark Joy.

Spend quality time with loved ones.

Share.

Eat ice cream.

Smile at People.

Receive smiles from others.

You’re so worth it.

And don’t allow anyone to take away that spark that’s in you. It’s just a good think to have vitality and strength. Keep the flame going. Don’t take it for granted .

Blessings!☺️

HOPE. ( Darkness Has a Time Limit)

March 21, 2019

Hope.
It’s so obscure sometimes. Like … how do you stay hopeful?

Is it Friends that help you to remain hopeful?
Is there a routine that’s involved?
Is there something elusive about hope?
Does a lack of it, make us cry?
Make us sad? Is it reachable?
How do you know when you fully have it?
Does a lack of hope make us afraid?
Does a lack of hope make us feel insecure? Feel alone?
I can say yes to about all of these.

Just recently , I came through a dark period. I was barely hanging in there. I believe I always knew I would come out of it, but it was really hard to stay focused on coming out when my days were so low.
I managed to get through it , but wow.. some days were really tough.

There were many nights of deep breathing for me, yoga, quiet time, talking to my husband and asking for prayer from friends. I also had many nights of tea and on beautiful days outside…. I would sit in the sun. I even found comfort in my journal a few of those days or simply took a long nap. I had to magnify my self-care and pray quite a bit, because prayer is what helps me to take notice to my spirit and be honest with myself about where I am.
To be honest, I wasn’t thinking God was too close.

Continue reading “HOPE. ( Darkness Has a Time Limit)”

“We Are All Like Trees.”

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“We Are All Like Trees.”

I’ll never forget how her face lit up when she said these words. I was in South Africa, Kuma, South Africa, in fact. I was teaching in a classroom of South African teenagers, and I was on cloud nine, (naw ….101..)

Her words were so simple and freeing.

Powerful, yet pensive, contemplative yet colorful.

Description causes me to attach meaning to sometimes things I barely notice. I know I’d always loved trees. Yet the trees in South Africa spoke to me. I remember having spoke to this classroom brill of teenagers and then coming back to a Johannesburg and spending time with my new friends  and their friends. I stood quietly in the backyard just thanking God for the experience of being in a South Africa, eating dinner with such focused and thoughtful people. There was a tree in that backyard that spoke to me.

Inlistened to her words all over again: “We are all like trees.”

And  then it hit me: Our strength. Our endurance. The people we are, and continue to become. We dream, we hope, we encourage , we teach.

And yes, I am one of those Trees.

Yes indeed I am.

 

A Merrier Christmas’ than Before.🎄

This was Christmas, this year.

I unexpectedly had a great Christmas. We lost our dad about two months ago, and I didn’t really expect it to be so neat! It’s important to know that during the holiday season some want to be with family, yet they cannot, because they have passed on. Some families don’t even get along much, which places a damper on things.

This Christmas I went outside and enjoyed some snow, few smiles, took pictures of pretty things, and ate some good food. They seem small, however; they are huge when some don’t even have that.

I didn’t get a lot of 🎁 , but then I didn’t really need any. That was like “totally” fine, because at age 50 it seems for me it’s really becoming about everyone else anyway.. at least during this year, anyway.

We even sang a bit, which made it merrier.

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This is my sweetie with his guitar. It was a delightful Christmas weekend with hubby and family. Nice and quiet , yet enjoyable.

They even ate most of my egg casserole! I think I like these. I really enjoyed how easy it was to make . So I tried a few new things, and even Netflix(ed) it with a bad hair day! Watched a few Christmas movies and few comedies and laughed (out loud) right on my couch!

Life is full of meaningful moments.They are really what makes holidays special. Quality time, new experiences and love. 💕