So I don’t write on forgiveness often. But I do read about it. And I do have conversations on it.
Because its complex. And recently I had a conversation with a group of people about it and I had an epiphany : Forgiveness is an act of self-love.
That it’s a gift to myself to not take on the burden of stress, overwhelm and complexity of being hurt.Choosing to be present to life and living it with purpose, intent and joy. Not resentment, fear and discontent.
It’s freeing when you can notice what helps you to thrive, and man, to be honest- unforgiveness isn’t what helps you thrive. It negates your spirituality- your Oneness with the God of Creation. And ,your inner being is at the core – to be kind, gracious, loving hopeful, and at peace. And to practice all that in the humility of loving yourself first. This is completely impossible if I forgiveness is in the way.
And i’ll be damned – excuse my French~but choice words can be literal- if I allow a ‘person or persons’ to steal that level of self- love within me, then it’s a slow death, for me..
But how do we know the level of self-love within? If all we have ever experienced is harm and hate and displeasure? I believe it begins with acceptance of the things we cannot change. The Serenity prayer. The wisdom to know the difference. Surrender. Even to things we don’t like, want or need. Finding rhythm, despite the tumult.
I do not have all the answers- but I do have experience. It can be discovered. And discovery with forgiveness takes much courage and faith.
No… we cannot forget about the harm and the pain and the years of disgrace and the numbness that wants to forever keep us hidden and “feeling” safe… however, that really isn’t safety. If you thought it was, you’ve been misinformed.
Seek Safety. Safety begins with an act of volition. of choosing to ‘say yes’ to you- to being your own healing by forging a path of self- honesty that says : “ I matter”. First.
And that’s where forgiveness begins.
With self-prioritization. And once you realize your healing and freedom is wrapped up inside of it- you will release everything that comes in opposition.
Yet you must realize your worth, first.
If forgiveness had a mantra: it would be:
I seek Healing.
I seek Wellness.
I am Worth.
I am Content.