Cousins.

Cousins. We’re pretty special. We look like each other but don’t live in the same houses, unless our parents saw fit. We remember the fun we had at dance parties, staying up late all night playing monopoly and board games…

We grow up and we move apart, yet as youngsters they felt like siblings sometimes . Today, we are not without around them much, but it doesn’t take much to feel close again.

And when we are around them, amazing how much it feels like another extension of us.

We have weathered storms together, losses and sometimes feel like friends.

Cousins are great people and ‘places’ to be… sometimes .

We shared sleepover, birthday parties, slumber parties with friends and cousins meeting our friends for the first time – and riding bikes, cookouts and races in the street. We even traveled far and near to see each other on regular family holidays.

Thankful for cousins, today.

They are our mirrors of memories.

Call or write that long lost cousin, today and send some love.💕

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Desolate or Fullness?

mi familia

I’m the ‘baby’ of the fam.. what that means is you often feel “special” when you grow up… and even when your don’t feel special- you feel special because your have a lot of favor, with everyone in the fam. For this reason I’ve favored, I believe ‘special relationships” have always been like really important to me. Growing up, I would try to make every kid I know feel special… especially the little friends I had who were easily hurt by words because they didn’t look like everyone else, smell like everyone else, or have a family like everyone else.

They

The ‘friends’ I knew would be people lI found time to be kind to because I knew they didn’t have the same resources I had, or seemed lonely. My mother noted that when young, I was really compassionate. I didn’t understand how people who had so many needs could be treated so unkind by others. It just didn’t seem fair. And so, whenever I could, I would try to smile or talk to them and just be a kind face and notice them. My mother taught me the importance of kindness. She was a teacher, and would take me to school sometimes with her and she’s show me how to treat the kids kindly – because some of them had special needs, in her classroom setting. I learned how to be considerate of others, very young. My mother didn’t know, (or perhaps she did know) that I was a “social worker in the making.”

Family was important to me when i small, and still is important. Several of my siblings are compassionate. I have a sibling who have bee pastors, another who’s been a coach, and several who are social workers in my family. When I was little my big brothers and sister were ‘everything’ to me. This ‘specialness’ I found came with certain privileges- and because of the privileges – I’ve always was wanted to be around them, up under them, would try to sleep in my brothers rooms often and my sisters , too…at times. Some would call it spoiled, other would call it ‘well-loved’.. and whatever it was , i’m learning today, it was really ok. It didn’t ruin me. This kind treatment showed me how to love on’ folk. And that was just plain ole’ goodness.

I remember most of this goodness as being special memories with my family- how as a family we’d go on long car rides to the country ; and go to cabins in the woods ; trip rides to LaGrange, GA and do things together as a fam… because that was family to us. I just loved being with my family.

Family was so special, It never occurred to me that one day I wouldn’t have my own biological children. I am grateful for those who have become family, for me and weren’t even related to me. My womb did not naturally produce my own children, and this is huge. I have what i consider to be “children” who are mine, and others have birthed – yet they are my kids, because spiritually I’ve played a huge part in their development. ( They may not know it, but I’ve been there.) There’s a scripture in the Bible that says: “more are the children of the desolate one-she will have many more children.”Galatians 4:7 This means something to me. (It means I have more children than I really know.)

I searched the word ‘desolate’ & it led me to the word agape. Agape means a “God-kind of love”- in the purest sense of the word it means the highest kind of love you can give humans. I had to pause here, because it made me think less about what I didn’t have, and although children were never born from my womb; the children I couldn’t have – gave me a greater love that was borne for those who needed it, perhaps even more than those born with their naturals parents. And “crossed my paths” they did! Crazy . Inasmuch as I would have loved to have bio children, the blessing of not having children has made me more spacious for welcoming and cherishing and inviting more ‘children ‘ in – more space to love on and be warm and kind to those who come across my path to nurture more fully.

Agape love is a love that’s redemptive; lasting and eternal. It’s more than enough. Hmm…Fits perfectly.

Grateful to know God chose me as His ‘carrier’ of such love. I’m definitely feeling the impact and the grace it’s left over these 54 years of life and in my profession, ministry and life path. As a teacher, professor a social worker, chaplain, leader, diversity trainer, missionary, therapist and life coach… life has shown ‘my children’ to have so much more because I had the precious time to invest in them.
Selah.🦋

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Shining… But Not Very Brightly.

Hello. October was all about the word Shine. So let me share what the mean it of the word emphasizes. To Shine means: To have significance: (the quality of being worthy of attention); the quality of being important. Synonyms of this special word are: to have heart, sense , understanding, force, or meaning.

I bet when you thought of Shining this wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, huh?

I chose a word that was a bit difficult to practice this month. Not because I couldn’t practice it, it was because I have to receive the word a bit differently. One of the things that caught me off guard was how much it takes to Shine… especially when you are not feeling the best.

Photography by You Are So Beautiful Photography
Me driving to work one morning.

Shining matters within, our personalities and out outer appearance, at times- and also on the outside of our lives: how we cherish moments with the special people in our lives. My momma always told me: “Actions speak louder than words.” The parts of our lives where no one notices – but you, your family and your children. It matters to them, it matters to God. That we let our “lights shine” no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing.

I’ve learned that wherever I am leaving a legacy of truth and discipline, hope, influence, purpose and good communication, those are places where I truly shine I also am shining where I am a positive and showing meaningful leadership. Where I care for others and remain positive, even when other around me, are not.

Where everyone in my life sped things up this weekend, I decided to slow it down. If I cannot hear myself for the sake of moving too fast, then I may need to turn the volume down. Am I taking time for that family member? Am I spending quality time with that loved one? Will this matter in five or ten years? Will it matter later this week? Just another positive way to think about whether “time” is mine, or it truly belongs to someone else.

Having had a birthday this past week, one of the things I am learning is to count the cost of everything… even the ones you miss. Sometimes the moments that matter most, are the ones you missed.

Why not slow it down, decided to do something different, make someone smile by choosing to do the one thing you normally would not have done, and bless them with the gift of time.

I am grateful for this month, because although I wasn’t feeling my best for most of the month, I took advantage of ‘ how I felt’, and instead of complaining , I made the most of it. And that involved shining, being grateful and giving thanks for what I have.

So when you slow it down this month, spend a little time reflecting on the Who, What, Where, Why and When… and even the “How” – ‘cause it all matters. Plan something very intentional, yet not work related. Take a Sabbath day. Change it up. Love on someone … Just because …and it will return unto you.

Share a few places where you’ve been shining lately very intentionally….

I took this on Lake Ontario, in Rochester NY

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.