Feelings.

If someone asked you how you felt, would you be able to tell them?

Feelings can be hard to pinpoint sometimes.

Someone close to me asked me the other day how was I feeling and I really didn’t have words.

This is a good chart to use when you’re lost with your feelings. Knowing how you feel can help to have perspective on life matters when you don’t know where you stand on a matter.

For instance, if you’re confused, you may need to process with a friend or counselor those feelings before you share them with anyone else, and get clarity.

If you’re sad,… do you know why? What can you do about your sadness? Do you need a day off from work? Do you need to have a break?

Are you exhausted?

What needs to change?

Do you need some perspective on life balance what it means to have it?

When you have perspective, you make better decisions, you feel empowered and more confident in life.

When you can’t identify your feelings you find negative and adverse ways of coping, you shore up your hurts, have major misunderstandings, because you fail to communicate them, and you often feel insecure and falter.

Choose to feel, today.

Take control of your life, risk feeling vulnerable and be in control of your emotional life. You’re so worth it.

Did you enjoy this reading?Want to know more about dealing with  challenges surrounding your feelings? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

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The Value of Vulnerability in My Life.

As I look back on my life, I’ve had my share of unhealthy relationships. I believe the hardest part during this season of life for me was discerning was what was really “healthy” and what was really “unhealthy”. I don’t really know that Ii had been taught that by example.

I believe I was simply unaware. Looking back, I wish i had spent more time with my younger self to determine who I was and what I desired in life, in order to have clarity about what I needed in a relationship.

I had not defined for myself what I needed, and valued and had not committed completely and wholeheartedly that those values were essential for me to thrive and to grow & thrive, in life .

Looking back: I am thinking of my journey saying to myself:

“What in the world was I doing?!”

Yeah, and it makes so much sense now that I know who I am …what my self -worth needs in order to thrive and be connected to another human being. I know what it means to be loved, and ‘in love.’

So I am going to share some thoughts on being in a healthy ‘vulnerable ‘ relationship, that helps us to thrive and be our best selves in our relationships .

I have decided to approach it from a vulnerable place, because I just like to be transparent . Vulnerability requires trust. And if you love someone vulnerability should be an essential part of helping that relationship to grow completely as individuals and also as a couple. Vulnerability with your partner should never be considered a weakness. You should continually be moving towards fruitfulness and transparency and greater love.

Here are a few things that being vulnerable in a relationship teaches you:

1. Vulnerability teaches you to ask for help. You increase your connectedness to others and learn to empathize with them. It’s essential for growth.

2. Being vulnerable teaches you the unknown parts of yourself. You develop a sense of resiliency and it challenges your authenticity – your heart mind and soul. It also helps you to be more self-aware.

3. With vulnerability, you develop a new appreciation for self-care. Self-care is essential to a certain level of awareness and patterns with yourself. Being able to address them with honesty, help you to grow in vulnerability.

4. Vulnerability teaches you to walk in realness. There’s a level of authenticity that comes from sharing honestly with others and you choose to listen, share and engage differently.

5. Vulnerability teaches you to connect better to your emotional self. Knowing “why” you’re angry; “why “ you’re sad, and why you’re emotional and choosing to do continual, intentional self-evaluation – helps you notice yourself on another level.

6. Being vulnerable allows you to have a better relationship with Grace. Not everyone understands grace and how to live in congruence with it; but what vulnerability teaches you is that grace is something we can ‘expect ‘ and ‘choose’ and live with intentionally, despite how we feel about life and how they occur- that things will get better, we will overcome ; and life can depended upon to operate in a full circle, that’s complete .

7. Vulnerability teaches you to be grateful and share your thankfulness. Appreciation comes in several selfless acts. When you share openly, of what you’re thankful for you’ll find people appreciate you, and consider the same blessings . Is this something that is reciprocated in your relationships? If not, it’s something to consider.

8. Vulnerability teaches you to be patient with yourself . When you push yourself past your limitations and you learn how to deal with successes despite being frustrated. You teach others how to be patient , as well.

9. Author and spiritual leader Spencer Kimball says that “Humility is royalty without a crown.” Humility is learned by truly being vulnerable. Being able to acknowledge your weaknesses and to grow in wisdom and grace daily with intention, are life’s truest blessings.

10. Vulnerability teaches you the most meaningful thing in life are learned by “pacing yourself ” through life. When I ‘slow my roll’ , I am informed, I am clear, I make room for more. Vulnerability leads me into the experience of “more”…

11. Vulnerability teaches you to release. It helps you to recognize when you’re burdened or heavy, and that relationship , or situation needs to be let go. Maybe you’re carrying more than you should, if you have not yet recognized the value of letting go. When you choose to really ‘ think about what you’re thinking’, choosing to let go of weight that causes anxiety and stress helps us find a way to cope with our inadequate thoughts and insecurities. That’s truly being vulnerable.

Well …. we’ve come to the end of this segment. what have you learned that’s new today? Take one element of vulnerability and commit to trying something new in your relationships and trusting yourself to grow just a bit more.

Did you enjoy this reading? Do you desire more self-guided exercises on self -development? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Identity Blockers

From my 2017 Retreat: “Diamonds”

I already know… one of my lifetime goals is to help women pursue purpose through deciding to love themselves, lead and leverage the playing ground by how they navigate the world before them. To live authentically, and experience Carpe’ diem! (Seize the day!)- via self expression, finding their voices and creating their own self-laws. Let me tell you… we cannot do this ideally with our identity suffering. There are many identity blockers that challenge us to think, behave and believe differently, every day of our lives. If we believe the things our minds tell us sometimes, then we will truly fail. And just because we have heard it a lot, doesn’t mean it’s actually true. In my dream, I desire to challenge women to be more of their ideal selves than who they really imagined themselves to be. I realized after working with so many women overtime – either through therapy, through small groups I’ve created for writing groups, book clubs, or mentoring groups that we all essentially desire to get to know ourselves, better when we are in the company of other women.

And better is good… because it helps us to stop and drive forward for our best selves. Just take time to notice and meditate on how you allow any of the identity blockers (above) to alter your course, in life. If you notice a few, ask yourself whats one way I can notice someone with the exact opposite ( of that identity blocker ) and ask them to share their story , or mentor me in some way, So I can learn that skill, too? I was just sharing with my mentoring group how I struggled a bit trying to determine what was right for me; as I began to wield my “two edged -one word”. I chuckle within myself, because My ‘one word’ for 2020, has become a focus of intentional regard and expression as I reach for this new identity !

I am finding the more I, seek for meaning with my word, the more I get invigorated to say more. And then I smile, because ‘asking, seeking and knocking’ are all concepts to help us grow and evolve. They are all principles that help us to manifest and develop into our best selves.

Are you truly asking, seeking and knocking for opportunity? Because the promises attached to this saying says : If you “ask it shall be given unto you, seek you and you shall find, and knock, and the door shall be opened unto you. (Matt 7:7)

ASK: “to challenge , to inquire to be on the hunt for…

SEEK: this one means to answer, pursue, and track down.

KNOCK: Did you know to knock means to ask again? It also means to seek. ( haha!) Isn’t that interesting.. we are asked to ask and then ask again… and seek some more… (Never stop asking or seeking!) There’s EXTREME benefit in it. Pretty deep huh?

Manifesting you’re dreams is good, I suppose . Just be mindful to not always set out with an intention to show off your gifts. Begin with purpose, ride the wave… and then you will end up surfing into another plan, another opportunity and another way to manage your gifts with lots of supporters around you; asking : How can we be a part of this thriving community!?

Indwelling: The Special Nuances Friendships Make.

Indwelling.

Is there such a word? I was reading today in the Word how being in fellowship with friends and others and also God-we learn how to be built up, and grow. We make more room for growth by allowing for friendships; and sometimes those friendships have a God-nature, if you will that comforts.

That’s cool. It makes sense. I really didn’t have a desire for friendships much when I was younger. Like in my twenties. I pretty much isolated myself and spent time with my first husband a lot. Well… not really. After we became kind of estranged in our marriage, I spent a lot of time line, actually. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I bonded with two girlfriends who were friends by nature of my struggle and had similar concerns, as I.

They were raising children and I kind of admired their children and how they mothered and loved their children as my own, so I became family, with them and helped them. It was nice, since I didn’t have children of my own, and I was considering that. That never really happened, having the children (for me), but I learned so much about mothering from them. So much about nurturing.

And how we “did life together “; ho wE fellowshipped together – a lot of time. spent together, talking about life, cooking, playing, talking about God together,, and eating together. Yes fellowshipping. Interactive with the children together- and watching them grow. This was over a period of eight to ten years or so.

Indwelling.

I never thought much until now, about how I grew because of them. Their depth of character and their faith and friendship. There were times when I wasn’t sure I could go on and they had this soothing, mothering nature that just knew I needed them. Their company and friendship, their love. Possibly no retry conscious to them, this was; yet oblivious to me. I was just trying to survive.

I never thought about how God used them. To provide an indwelling. (A motivating force for me.)

So yes, there is such a word. I looked it up. Indwelling means ‘to provide a motivating or guiding force ‘- “to possess (a person), as a moral principle …or as a motivating force.” That’s pretty deep. That it can work for us positively, or even negatively, depending upon whom we spend time with, and how often and how we low them to influence us . Yes, indwelling.

Indwelling forces. They are almost mysterious in several ways. I mean who thinks about them when they are happening?

Who tends to notice ‘how we bond’, when we are bonding, right? I didn’t. Perhaps this is how and when I learned to receive from others. In my struggle. When I didn’t understand what life was offering me, and I didn’t want whatnot set before me. Perhaps in Gods awesome Grace I received friends and was taught invaluable life lessons. Perhaps. via friendships I survived. I yielded. I acquiesced.( I yielded without protesting.) Hmm…

Okay. So thanks God. For friendships then, and friendships now – and what I offer now, and was not fully aware I was being then, even. By nature of how my relationships have formed today, thank you for allowing me to mentor and nurture women today,

I am indwelling.

Providing a motivating force and guiding force for women, looking back and noticing what I needed, and revived and what helped me to survive. That’s for the mentoring of me, so I could mentor today.

Yes. An indwelling.

Selah.

Question: Where does your indwelling come from? Do you nurture it or ignore it? Are you even aware as to whether it exists?

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Sister, Who Are You ?

How To Prepare Your Heart For More

Happiness is positive , spiritual and soulful energy.

It comes from within. It involves by our Soul, Your Body, Your Spirit.

It is your balance when sought out and perfected in body, mind, soul and spirit.

We must develop a willingness to secure our ability to Happy. One must be adaptable, open and own their postive disposition and perspective. We can own our happiness. That’s where growth is. Journal and accentuatev your  daily growth by noticing what needs to be tweaked daily to help change and shift your perspective.

A heart that isn’t flexible and adaptable to God, isn’t’ a heart that ‘s conformed to do His will.  It also means you are holding onto something a little tighter than God’s will for your  life. Pray the Lord of the Harvest, helps your heart to conform to His ways. His heart. His perspective. That’s where wholeness resides.

We can own wholeness and balance and hope in our Soul, our Spirit and our  Body. When we align all three parts of our whole selves, we can find seek healing and find balance and harmony within.

Understand how all three work together to create a harmonic balance in your life and  allow you to own and manifest JOY.

It begins both a willingness to say “Yes, I deserve more.”

Your Ritual: Stand in your mirror and declaration four good things about YOU. Declare it in your heart and in your soul. Say it, and Mean it.

Your Prayer: Lord, Help me to be prepared and ready for every good work. “Comfort and  encourage (my) heart and strengthen (it) … keep (it) unswerving in every good work and word.”      2Thessalonians 2:17 (AMP)
My prayer is that : “ (You may walk , live and conduct yourselves) in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God [with fuller, deeper, and clearer insight, acquaintance, and recognition].   Colossians 1:10-12

Your will: Walk it out. Choose daily to be tour but self. When you make a mistake, draw back, gain perspective btheough reading, connecting with a sister of wisdom or word of wisdom or affirmation and repeat that phrase until it’s deep in your soul.

All posts created by JennRene Owens, Author, Mentor, Coach.