Tulsa Time, Cafe‚Äô Time.

I get excited about going to cafes. This pic was one of my favorites in Tulsa, Okla. (It has since shut down.)

I used to go and sit and write for hours. Drink tea, stare out windows.(As introverts do)…and be pensive. I recall how hard it was being away from home, and my family.

Yet local cafe’s were my solace time.

And across the street is a beautiful park. Right in the middle of downtown . With a beautiful pond & waterfalls .

I have good memories here. Above is a pic of me on that park, enjoying the sun.

Tulsa was a pretty awesome city. I complained initially about moving there, but it grew on me. And the cafes and the friends helped immensely .

Once, my girlfriend had a birthday party here, and we all ended up singing and having a great time.

Tulsa taught me to Receive.

And to yield. To allow things to grow. And to learn how to be content. Receiving isn’t easy, if you can find things wrong. Sometimes it means just learning to be grateful.

And that’s a process, too.

Take the beginning or ending of your day, offer it up as meditative time, think of three things you’re grateful for, release them into the atmosphere, & say thankful. Do this for approximately six months, & watch your ‘life rhythm ‘ shift.

You will be amazed at your level of contentment. And how happiness flows.

Be thankful.ūüíú

Daily.

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Taking Care of My Soul.

img_9604-1It‚Äôs so  very interesting how patience plays into our care of the soul. Almost two months ago, I left Tulsa Oklahoma, tense and overwhelmed and anxious. Across country moves just seem to impact me in that way. I‚Äôve done two of them, in my lifetime. And as much as I plan to be calm and take time off in advance, it just doesn‚Äôt work out that way. There‚Äôs always something to be concerned about:

Will there be enough income  for the transition ?

Will we like where we are going?

Will totally dislike  the cold?

Wil I make friends easily?

Will I enjoy my job?

So I‚Äôve been out of work now for almost two months. I didn‚Äôt plan on that. Just took them a month to have me approved. It‚Äôs like, really?  (They don‚Äôt manage  job contracts as smooth as  they used to .)

Okay, so now I‚Äôm in this place of much more calm and grace and gratefulness. It seems like no matter the amount of time it took, it took this ‚Äėmuch needed ‚Äė time to  rest and rejuvenate and re- order my steps.

Everyday I’ve tried to stop and be grateful for at least one thing, then I’d acquiesce ll over again . And breathe. When I’m anxious and uptight , I tend to forget to breathe , and I tend to forget to express thanks for where I am.

Perspective matters.

I really didn‚Äôt think I  needed this, but apparently my soul knew I needed it. I‚Äôm currently in central NY in a beautiful hotel for the past few days – soaking up sunny days and  breathing in fresh fall air.  Enjoying time as the trees change into their beautiful autumn hues. And I have time to do this, so I‚Äôm thankful.

So the next time you’re complaining about how long something takes, just stop and think about where’s the grace in it. What are you grateful for?

Where does your soul align with the process?

And how much are you frustrating grace in the process?

Receive the good, and abandon the eat that isn’t quite helpful.

My soul aligning with ‚Äúthe process‚ÄĚ.Receive your new beginning.

Selah.

Cultivating Motivation.

What keeps you motivated? I remember grappling with this question over a period of time- maybe ten years. I didn’t realize I was ‘grappling’ because I was sincerely depressed in my life. it’s extremely hard to be happy when life sucks.

I was so discouraged with myself. I couldn’t remain motivated. But I was also depressed, in a long marriage that had run its course, and I need a new take on life.

With motivation, it seemed as though I’d start, feel good about myself & my life, , then I’d lose motivation . Couldn’t seem to figure out why, though .

I didn’t connect my love life, my relationship, and my sadness to my motivation. My love life was not loving. My peace had been invaded. I was living life out of desperation and dependence- not in faith and with resolve.

I needed an encouraging partner, I needed to value myself and my friendships and have friends that helped motivate me and kept me accountable, and I needed self-care. Once I began to prioritize these values, my life began to change.

Once I had had a friend who was willing to help keep me accountable and kind of tutored me in this area, it seemed to help. I would keep her accountable for a few things, and she’s do the same for me.

For a while, we realized we weren’t using our time right. So we’d study a few things about developing margin in our lives and that helped immensely. It helped to have a friend who cared. We even prayed together about what our goals were and what we wanted to change.

I made the connection as i gained wisdom, that motivation comes from within. It’s a discipline of the heart and soul. It’s being specific about what you desire, then finding the courage within, and the support to pursue it. I didn’t come to this realization until the age of 38 years old . Wish I did. I might have been more focused, much sooner.

Made it to the beach last week!

Sometimes we live thinking there’s so much more out there than what we’re living. The truth is, we haven’t really lived until we’ve possessed what our soul really desires.

For instance, my soul wanted the best visit to a beach, last weekend. And I sought it out until I got it . Small choice… yet very meaningful for me. I had the best experience and memories on that beach… because I was ‘open’ to receiving it.

And … of course, I went with my best friend …(He enjoyed it too, after I asked a few times. Check out that smile.)

So here’s some questions to ask yourself about Motivation:

The first question is:

1.”What does your soul (your mind, will and emotions) desire?”

The second question is:

2. How important is it to you? Is it really something your soul needs?

The third question is:

3. How do you make room in your life to do it? ( I highly recommend getting a partner.) ‚ėļÔłŹ

And sometimes you have to just try several ways of meeting the needs of your soul, before you find out. Pull out some paper and brainstorm some tactics that might work.

Do you need to go to that special place ‘right after work’ so it really happens? Do you need to get a babysitter on Saturday morning while your kid is still in bed – for a few hours to make it happen ? Join a club similar to http://www.MeetUp.com? Find and accountability partner?

Or do you simply need to just be spontaneous ? Spontaneity was my focus word this year- guess I made it happen.)

Just remember: How ‘you possess your soul‘ and how someone else ‘possesses’ their own soul , may be totally different.

But do possess your soul.

It’s so worth it..

HOPE. ( Darkness Has a Time Limit)

March 21, 2019

Hope.
It‚Äôs so obscure sometimes. Like … how do you stay hopeful?

Is it Friends that help you to remain hopeful?
Is there a routine that’s involved?
Is there something elusive about hope?
Does a lack of it, make us cry?
Make us sad? Is it reachable?
How do you know when you fully have it?
Does a lack of hope make us afraid?
Does a lack of hope make us feel insecure? Feel alone?
I can say yes to about all of these.

Just recently , I came through a dark period. I was barely hanging in there. I believe I always knew I would come out of it, but it was really hard to stay focused on coming out when my days were so low.
I managed to get through it , but wow.. some days were really tough.

There were many nights of deep breathing for me, yoga, quiet time, talking to my husband and asking for prayer from friends. I also had many nights of tea and on beautiful days outside…. I would sit in the sun. I even found comfort in my journal a few of those days or simply took a long nap. I had to magnify my self-care and pray quite a bit, because prayer is what helps me to take notice to my spirit and be honest with myself about where I am.
To be honest, I wasn’t thinking God was too close.

Continue reading “HOPE. ( Darkness Has a Time Limit)”

Being Imperfect.

I kind of like being imperfect.

To be imperfect means to: ” be flawed,  someone  blemished or broken.  Many  tend to think often there is an embarrassment  or shame to being flawed, but it’s not a bad thing at  all.  It shows you have a little  character. And  it makes you  appreciate the work  you need to do on the  “unrefined you”,   & still appreciate it. And   refine  yourself, all the more.

It’s less pressure, you know. You don’t have to worry about what it means to be anyone but to be you.

I like being me , I’m feeling fifty. It took me a minute and I’ll almost be 51 in three months, but it’s all good. So what, it took me nine months to feel it?

I’m here , though.

I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been very engaged in living. I think I got away from it for a minute because I was stressing and being concerned about life’s pressures. You know those feelings you get when all things in life begin to “press in”, and life screams: “I need you!” And you acquiesce …

Yet i just had to head for ‘any’ escape route possible….in full rebellion.

Well, I may have not been in total rebellion, but I was sorta starting to fade… (he was too)… and then hubs and I did this fun get away… just because.

I kind of ‘ high-jacked ‘him, told him he didn’t have a choice, actually, because he was starting not to be too familiar to me, ya know?

Yeah… you know and then we hit reset. And our bodies  felt the ‘relief’ of  release.

And then… after all that… we were back at it, with greater clarity, accomplishment and focus.

Yep. It worked.‚ėļÔłŹ

Introverted Productivity

I am an Introvert.

It wasn’t until I packed up, moved my entire life and homestead from the East Coast to the Midwest that I realized this was true about me. I was getting married, and moved from Maryland to Texas. I was happy, yet overwhelmed. Completely. I was getting married, had to find a new job, and absolutely stressed out because I left my entire family behind, of whom I was at least used to seeing twice a month. It was at that time, my new husband to be, noticed me.

He recognized that I was very stressed and handed a book to me about introverts. The book was “The Introvert Advantage” by Marti Olsen

After reading two chapters. I realized I wasn’t going crazy after all, and that my life was in transition. Yet I still needed to keep a certain momentum, in my life. Over the past seven years I have crafted and shaped a new life for myself, because I gain and preserve my energy completely different than most. I love that I am one who loves to listen to myself think. I have learned the person with the most important things to say, is myself. And if I haven’t heard it first, then it hasn’t really been said.

porch safe house

I am going to share with you the completely creative ways I prevent inertia and maintain my productivity, because it’s total self-care and provides mental productivity – which then preserves my physical, psychological, workplace and spiritual self care, as well.

1. I value my inner voice. I just can’t believe it’s taken several years in order for me to find it. In order to hear it, though I must listen. Cultivating listening takes skill. And it won’t happen unless we make that space in our lives for it.

2. I listen to my soul. I can truly say I appreciate cultivating the skill of maintaining a balanced peaceful and happy state of mind. Let’s face it, mental health care is not something everyone focuses upon, yet something everyone NEEDS. without it, we would lose a lot of things and not all of them are material. Emotional and spiritual care reigns high on my list of priorities because they SUSTAIN my inner being, and not only do others like me, I like myself.

3. Finding myself in nature and nothingness. I find stopping the “rat race” helps me to be more productive. Once I pull away, and become refreshed, then I can regroup and focus better. What sustains me, in those moments are: walks in the park, “quiet”, friendships, prayer and meditation, getting a kiss from a child that does not necessarily belong to me; but is happy to see me when I walk through the door. Simple, sometimes planned, and sometimes spontaneous events that make me smile.

4. Remaining grateful. I have taken to over the last few years to being grateful, because I love noticing the things I wouldn’t necessarily notice unless I was slowing down. How sun feels on my face, for instance, and how citrus calms my mood and help some to be a bit sprightly… noticing how a nice cup of tea soothes me and helps me to relax. Or to notice how much more refreshing it is to have a cup of ta while I read my favorite book on a nice, relaxing chair on my porch. when I place everything in perspective, I see the combined effect of being able to bring several of those instances of warmth and comfort to my soul in one place, and then I recognize I can say to the universe: “thank you.”

5. Intentional celebrations and rewards. Celebrations have been a rewarding tradition in my family. Growing up, I have fond memories of going on simple rides in the country, treating ourselves to ice cream, ‘just because’ as a family, or traveling once every summer to see distant relatives after a long season of work for my parents. Today, rejuvenation looks like the same. I am glad I have carried this tradition and ritual of celebration into my family life and legacy. When I married my husband Tim, rewards became even more important. He believed even if you didn’t have money, you still had to find a way to enjoy the moment. Carpe’ diem, became a regular occurrence, and I was on my way. Some of my best moments imprinted in the fiber of my mind have been when I slowed down and then would rise and be encouraged, because either obtained great resolve in my decision-making; or had a ‘creative jolt’ that was out of this world, and helped launch me to another level of success, in my career. I have a very fond moment of when I made a final decision to get out of an unhealthy, unproductive relationship that wasn’t satisfying for me. It came after going to a bookstore, buying my favorite book, and treating myself to Red Lobster, and eating alone.

I could tell you many more restful, productive moments for me. Yet, this may become a really long article. One of the greatest blessings of productivity may have just been taking the time to find myself and enjoy the moments in between.

And for that, I am grateful.

Still Embracing… #Embrace2017

¬†So… EMBRACE ¬†is /was my word for 2017… and here ¬†I am… ¬† Check out my “GROWTH”, ¬†‘right here!

photo by jennifer owens YASB photography
Here’s One:

‚ÄúIf its ¬†both terrifying and ¬†AMAZING, then you should definitely ¬†pursue it! ¬†‚ÄĚ

 

( I believe I may write about the next one… so I am saving it…)¬†

Here are a few things I am  embracing:

  1. A ¬†new assignment– I have “fully decided to embrace my ¬†occupation with working ¬†with those in the field of substance use. ¬†I have struggled with this’acceptance’ ¬†for years- perhaps because my father was an ¬†alcoholic, and ¬†I ¬†just ¬†had personal reservations. ¬†But the more I think about ¬†saying yes – the more excited ¬†I become about helping ¬† them, ¬†and be ¬†‘whole ‘ people- and ¬†be successful at ¬†what they do; as well as their families.
  2. ¬†A new project! – Still working with women, but deciding even more… that I ¬†really want to do more and ¬†be a part of other’s dreams and projects as well as ¬† improve my own processes and ¬†groups . I have begun I am excited about helping ¬†another sister launch one of ¬†her dreams!
  3. ¬†A ¬†new ¬†approach towards seeking God. ¬†My “Examen” process is ¬†a ¬†really ¬†beautiful ¬†spiritual way of trying to find myself ¬†again, spiritually¬†and connect with God . I love the process ¬†of this, ¬†and the new community I have found. ¬† We all have ¬†“little rooms” in which we all hang out ‘ ; ¬†and communicate – and attempt to find God ¬†in our creative ¬†efforts, or our spiritual leadership.
  4. ¬†I ¬†am also ¬†embracing the need to ¬†just ” be disciplined” I am realizing ¬†that with greater ¬†balance in my life – I have ¬†greater ¬†discipline. ¬†And I am ¬†not ¬†really seeking to NOT DO ¬†some things – but to ¬† take time to ask my spirit how it feels to do ¬†it , and ¬† determine whether the act itself ¬†takes a anything away from me doing doing ¬†the hard work of self – evaluating ¬†and determine ¬† the height, depth and breadth of ¬†doing ¬†disciplined work. Hmm.. I have to write and then research more about this… ¬†I am not sure I really want to know.. but i feel its the only way to ¬†reach my ¬†dreams and ¬†my ultimate ¬†goal sin life.. to ” push” myself and allow myself to ¬†be ¬†something that feels ¬†totally uncomfortable – as ¬†least ¬†in the beginning stages, anyway… ¬†right? Ever ¬†feel like your whole life is catapulting you towards something beautiful? ¬†Something you haven’t even ¬†yet fulled ¬†embraced in your ¬†conscious life? ¬†But its ¬†sole embedded in your ¬† sub-conscious and it’s yet calling you, even deep in your spirit — sometimes in ¬†your sleep; and then in your dreams, yet again and a again? ¬† well ¬†let me ¬†tell you … (the other night I had a dream ¬†I w as creating a ¬† curriculum about ¬†the subconscious mind and ¬†the conscious mind and how they conflict with or ¬†come against ¬†some times the mind of ¬†Christ. ) I was writing a program with a specific person ¬† just like that…! ¬†Hmm.. ¬†I wonder if I should tell her…?) ¬†I feel like I should.. (I will.)
  5. ¬†I ¬†guess the last thing I am embracing is my relationships with other women. I ¬†seem to love ¬†true, authentic women; and I feel I have a knack- if you will – for creating that kind of ¬†group … its happening ! I have made friends, I ¬†have a mentoring group and we talk often about being ¬†healthy and ¬†keeping that healthy mindset primary; now and ¬†I have begun to even ¬†create a women’s mastermind ¬†group! ¬†I am so , so ¬†surprised! ¬†I ¬†guess because this ¬†wasn’t really my ¬†idea or thoughts to do ¬†so in this season of my ¬†life – yet ¬†it was time. It just kind of happened ¬†while I was working on something else. ¬†And it just made ¬†perfect sense to ¬†do! So I did.

Well.. there it is…. here ¬†are ¬† the ¬†five ¬†things I am embracing :

  • ¬†my relationships
  • my ¬†discipline and leadership role, fully
  • my ¬† social life
  • my projects and ¬†authentic roles
  • my new assignment ¬†with ¬† addictions and people ¬†struggling with them.

   

This is ¬†“spiritual self care” ¬†ladies, ¬†be aware on ¬†a level where you self-evaluate¬†regularly so you can ¬† cultivate and acknowledge your own goodness and growth process.

Selah. 

¬†(….and.. whew! Its been ¬†quite a ¬†new year!)

If You Live To Tell It…Tell Your Story.

I used to be ashamed of my story.

I used to run and hide from the truth. It wasn’t until I began to face the truth that I began to change, and towards triumph!

wp-1482562799616.jpg I love sharing on the Marco Polo app,  Mentormysister has a good time! ūüėČ

One thing I love to do most is…  #storytelling! I think I love stories the most because they tell a lot about the soul of a person. I love to sit and listen to them, and imagine. I guess I’ve done that all my life. Even as a child I would sit amongst adults and listen and play with my toys. I believe to this fat, this is what has made me intuitively connected to myself and others.

Maybe it’s why I love to read the way I do… If you haven’t told your story yet, perhaps you haven’t quite “freed yourself ” from what others think, perhaps you don’t have enough “time”, or perhaps you just don’t think it’s all that interesting. I think it begins with “sitting with your story” – the good and bad -and deciding that you’d like to ‘break free’ from the bad and build upon the good.

Stories tell of our influence in this world, how other have influenced us,  & whom we leave our impression on, can literally change their perspectives, and then… eventually, the world .

Storytelling also  helps us to embrace others just for who they are. We have a chance to learn about their identity, their culture, and their lifestyles, routine and what makes them tick. It takes quite a bit of transparency to tell your story.

Stories can  teach, inspire and help  others reach goals.  I am finding the older I become, that we are  all  have the opportunity to learn and  absorb all that’s in the  world.  We need to begin to notice everything around  us. And as we imagine, grow and inspire others ther s an exchange of sorts, that occurs. The best part about  learning from  someone’s  story, can be that  you are able to glean. You can grow in compassion, empathy and you can have what I call a “self-in-situation”   experience. With stories, you can “see yourself differently, and your present day  situation is not as overwhelming as you imagine it to be.”

Stories also teach you a lot about yourself. I am very intuitive. I love thinking deep thoughts . I love imagining, I love spending time listening to myself thinking.

Because I have always been a reader, I  always thought my stories would be told through writing.  Yet a few years back,  I found my voice, and began to tell and inform others about life circumstance,  through video.  At first, I  HATED  producing videos with a passion, because I was so self-conscious,   but then I realized people liked it and I received good responses, so I built up my courage, began to like them as well. I noticed learning how to grow my personality, develop intrigue be open and  calm. I am learning calm can be my superower. With producing videos, I believe calm makes them a bit more intimate.

Speaking of which.. we have a lot of fun on Marco  Polo – the app for Mentor My Sisters! If you would like a   weekly dose of encouragement, communication, and self-care, join us! We have a forum where you can ask questions, and have a  way to connect with other sisters who are all about growth and self-development.  . You are welcome to join us monthly, at our local face-to- face meetings, just comment below.

 

 

 

What is Spiritual Self-Care and… Why Do I Need It?

I love to talk about Spiritual self-care. In this video you can find out more about what I challenge myself and my thinking about, and perhaps challenge yourself in this area of you life more, as well. I have a course about spiritual self- care. I would LOVE for you to take it and have personal discussion with me about it. In the meantime, here’s my video about it.

 

Open Talk :”On Being Connected to Spirit.” from JennRene Owens, MentorūüíúMySist on Vimeo.

Here’s the link to the course titled “A Rhythm-Conscious Life