If someone asked you how you felt, would you be able to tell them?

Feelings can be hard to pinpoint sometimes.

Someone close to me asked me the other day how was I feeling and I really didn’t have words.

This is a good chart to use when you’re lost with your feelings. Knowing how you feel can help to have perspective on life matters when you don’t know where you stand on a matter.

For instance, if you’re confused, you may need to process with a friend or counselor those feelings before you share them with anyone else, and get clarity.

If you’re sad,… do you know why? What can you do about your sadness? Do you need a day off from work? Do you need to have a break?

Are you exhausted?

What needs to change?

Do you need some perspective on life balance what it means to have it?

When you have perspective, you make better decisions, you feel empowered and more confident in life.

When you can’t identify your feelings you find negative and adverse ways of coping, you shore up your hurts, have major misunderstandings, because you fail to communicate them, and you often feel insecure and falter.

Choose to feel, today.

Take control of your life, risk feeling vulnerable and be in control of your emotional life. You’re so worth it.

Did you enjoy this reading?Want to know more about dealing with  challenges surrounding your feelings? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.



So next month I’m going to center on Joy. It’s the Sept. word of the month. I started months ago searching for this one, because I believe joy can be so illusive. People can say they have it but u until it’s full & encompassing your entire being I don’t really believe you have it, completely.

I’ve had a few joyful moments this month, and last month and so now I believe I can write about it with some experience.

Here are a few of my beliefs about true joy:

1. True joy involve gratefulness as a practice.

I don’t believe you can be truly appreciative of joy until you learn how to practice gratefulness. An appreciation of the big and the small is the requirements for joy, then giving thanks for its source .

2. Joy involves elation.

You must participates with something that makes you feel the elation over the course of a few hours or days or as part of an experience. True joyfulness stays within, and it lasts and it makes those things you enjoy desire to maintain and ebb and flow. A way to capture and continue in that pattern is what you desire to take in the future . True joyfulness involves meaning – making and reflection.

3. Joy is an experience . It has to register as something that makes you fulfilled, and involves the senses: touch , taste, smell, hearing and sight. It might be that all of these are expressed and or experienced at once, or they come in waves. Yet they are present.

And as the days go along in September, I’ll share the joy.

Stay tuned and engaged this September. I’m thinking i’m going to learn a lot.ūüĆļ

Fill Your Own Wells, FIRST.

This read is about filling up your own personal wells. What is a well used for? For drinking, to offer up thirst to those who are thirsty and in need for quenching. If indeed you are for this purpose, for others to draw from in any form or fashion, whether it be for being a great and intuitive leader, a friend a parent or sister or wife, you have this purpose. So … consider filling up your own well FIRST.

I Am Enough Because I Care.self

Have you checked your “care” barometer, lately?

The “care” I am ¬†talking about is this kind of care:

1.) Self-Care;

2.) Personal  Development as care;

3.) Care that involves you  being  a caring individual in our society.

But¬† sometimes that’s the norm – that we¬† forget about others.¬† ¬† We can barely care for ourselves; at times –¬† so how do we manage to reach out to others? I know. I am guilty. ¬†I remember once, ¬†I was in church, and the pastor was ¬†saying if we want to make a difference:¬† “Ask God to help you be a blessing to someone else.”

It was deep that entire week, I felt like I was the most compassionate human being  I had been in a long while!  I had started something.  I  believe the lesson  was  to  show me that everyone has needs. And that sometimes we can  ANTICIPATE them, if we think ahead. 

I ¬†am a person who cares for others, and I¬† am so grateful I do. ¬†In many ways it’s my profession- as a social worker –¬† yet also in several ways, its also my ¬†calling. ¬† I care because someone cared for me. To be honest, I am not sure caring would come as easily as it does, or had I not gone through a few ¬†situations to ¬†cause me to be cared for. And have had¬† people reach out to me, in very merciful ways. I am very thankful God is in my life, because caring took on a new meaning¬† for me when I met a few sisters and brothers who love God, in a very ¬† caring and ¬†completely ¬†selfless way. ¬† I remember a time when I was ‚Äúcar-less‚ÄĚ. Not careless.¬† (Haha)

My car broke down,  and  I was  living alone and I  was devastated. “How was I going to get to work?!


How was I going to go grocery shopping? And how was I going to take care of all my business?‚Ä̬† ¬† ¬† ¬†I already felt lonely this particular summer… and¬† ¬†I¬† took a break from¬† a relationship- a very needed one – that summer, and it was¬† HOT outside.¬† Things were looking pretty bleak for me. I believe it was a Friday, and my car caught on fire in the parking lot where I work. The engine just blew on me. I ¬†remember having tons of hope, though. I was encouraged. Why… I don‚Äôt know, but I just began to count my blessings, because there were so many things going well for me, that ¬†I couldn‚Äôt complain. ¬† I wasn‚Äôt working that summer, and I ¬†found out I could get employment during the summer months, and I wasn‚Äôt even expecting it. ¬†As surprised as I was, I was completely hopeful things would work out. ¬†I went to church that Sunday with a smile on my face, and telling every one it would work out, just by a testimony, and ¬†I as thanking God. After church,¬† a¬† couple came to me and said , ‚ÄúHey, I have a car you can use ¬†its our second car, we don‚Äôt use it very much, but we‚Äôd like to bless you.” Another friend, said: ” I am going out of town for two weeks, and you are welcome to hold the keys to mine.‚ÄĚ I was shocked! These two persons will be forever imprinted on my life and a part of my compassion ¬†list of people who care.. ¬†I ¬†still love them very much to this day. And not just because they gave me something, but because I saw God in their actions, and they trusted me with¬† something valuable.¬† They made ¬†me smile and believe God even more.

I have had aunts, friends, ¬†and ¬†people in my life who knew me and knew how devastated, broken,¬† feeling unloved and ¬†hurt I have been in situations and ¬†man,… when you are down, and you have even more to struggle with, ¬†as a result of being down –¬† it‚Äôs just good to have someone reach out, and love on you.¬† ¬†I¬† try to remember that feeling, because¬† it helps to¬† know you are in valued in that way and people¬† care about you.¬†

It feels  really, really good, to have someone come and give you a makeover to your office when you feel so disorganized Р(my girlfriend Steph,  in Texas); or someone to give you the keys to a car when you  have none (my former church member friends in  NY), or for someone to buy you a meal when you are starving and have no money. ( My friend  and sister in Christ in everywhere America.) Smile. 

I was once even was kicked out of someone’s home, and had no place to go, and a friend stepped in and opened up their home to me!   I have been on BOTH ends, and I tell you, as  great as it felt to receive, it feels even better to give.

Just today, ¬†I was ¬†out with my best friend – ¬†and we got ¬†pedicures – ¬†and we just had lunch together. ( Uh… that would be my husband. ¬†But don’t tell him I told you that!) ¬† Haha…. And that was self-care. ¬†Was it expensive? Sure was… but it felt so good to be pampered, and his smile- worth a million to offer him that experience!¬† ¬†Having ¬†done this for the first time,¬† for him – it was priceless.

We all need a little pampering sometime. Ask your self how you  can be instrumental in this process and give yourself some  time, once a month, at least to :



So I admonish  you, WATCH who God has sent to cross your path. Be aware of those around you. Love on them.  Pay attention to detail in your life, and how you benefit from being in right relationship with them. Feel their sorrow with them.  Ask them if they need anything. Call them and tell them you love them, even if it does mean feeling vulnerable  for a moment. It’s ok.  And you will  see them turn toward you, or turn a little closer towards God, if that’s the hope you desire to give. I have learned so much from such giving people in my life about how to treat others when they are down.

 And ASK yourself?

What’s my spirit and soul like today?

Do I feel drained, out of touch with myself?

Has life been a little foggy, lately…. Then COMMIT to self care.

God can work even greater in you, when you  are open and have such a surrendered heart.

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.