“The Voice of the Mother

“The voice of the mother is kind, soft, serene, nurturing, warm.  
The voice of the mother is instructional, healing, 
encouraging
The voice of the mother watches out for her young,
Tailors their lives on the path of hope. 
The voice of the mother warns her babies of harm or danger of the need for safety.
The voice of the mother brings life to death situations.

The voice of the Mother is guidance, 
She arms her young wisdom, endurance, love and description. 
The voice of the mother teaches, shares, develops. The voice of the mother is stirring, firm, positions, directs –
The voice of the mother reaches, questions, inquires, searches and mends.  
The voice of the mother is empowered, informed by struggle and ensures by experience – is focused.

The voice of the mother is growth . 
The voice of  the mother stills, quiets, hushes brings attention. 
The voice of the mothers sings .

Is beautiful lovely .
 A fragrant,  comforting
 the voice of the mother is peace.

-Nthabiseng

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My Flavor of Being …Happy

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Facebook thoughts…

Happiness has been a journey for me. I wrote this on my post today , and boy …was I surprised what I wrote!

I didn‚Äôt expect to write about the ‚Äúflavor‚ÄĚ of my happiness. I laugh inside because I didn‚Äôt expect ‚ÄúHappiness‚ÄĚ to have a flavor… (haha) … But it does! Happiness has a taste of butterscotch ice cream or almond‚Ķor vanilla amaretto (for me)… It‚Äôs a savoring kind of taste. something that makes you wants to taste it, like, forever.
I have tasted happiness but not so much until I reached fifty-something, on a consistent basis.

I attribute this to hard work. Hard work involving ‚Äúworking on ME.‚ÄĚ I have being doing tons of self-evaluation lately. I had a group of women it began with; yet I ended up doing most of it involving me doing it alone. And I‚Äôve been consistently over the past maybe fifteen years working on it with deep, digging , introspective work.

Here are the words that I feel like deserve some applause:

ūüĆłConfidence

ūüĆłSelf-Love

ūüĆłMotivation

ūüĆłSelf-Trust.

ūüĆłSettled.

ūüĆłPlaced.

ūüĆłCourageous

These words helped me to step out of my comfort zone. Amazing how ‚Äúone-word‚ÄĚ reflection can help you to become intentional. If you‚Äôd like to be involved in a group bot individual process for this, let me know and I‚Äôll coach you through the process .

My Friends Are One of A Kind..

One of a kind.

Friends are few and far between, & are hard to find. Above my friend Meg, and she’s pregnant and ready to deliver her child! (We just celebrated her little one is coming really soon!)

It’s been real living in Tulsa Ok. We are headed to Rochester , N.Y. after nine years of living in Tulsa and I’m thankful for friends .

When I first moved to Tulsa, It took about two good years to find friends . I thought it was the longest time, but grateful when I did. It seemed that friends were found most easy, in having gatherings and so that’s what I did.

I went to Meet Up Dot Com to start a book writing club and it turned out great. We had attendees from all over the area and it felt good to have peeps come from near and far and it felt authentic, friendly and at home.

That’s what Tulsa has felt like to me: My Second Home.

I then decided to have a rather group called Shine- Sisters Helping Inspire Nurture & Excel. This group lasted for over a year. We only disbanded because our schedules shifted in a big way and I began to transition to leave town.

I’ve sincerely met some good friends and I’m thankful . My friends in tulsa have loved on me in a big way and it’s been awesome to share my lives with them. It’s felt mighty good to know them!

We’ve gone to conferences together, wrote books together gathered to pray , or just to have a snack in an empty house and focus on the Lord. We’ve laughed and went away on retreats together near beautiful lakes, went on walks in the woods; met up at writers conferences ; and everything else that friends do to have fun. We also loved on each other during challenging times. Nothing like having a friend support you when you’ve written an entire program and are due to launch it and can’t find it at all on the computer ! (Oh no!)

Or like the time you get a new job ( again ), and you’re going through a mid- life crisis and decide to make changes with them all, and need to begin a new career!

Or you’re having that baby for the first time and need that mental, spiritual and emotional support that friends give!

Yeah… we were a family of friends and it was great. Who would’ve known it would begin so challenging and then I end up leaving SO blessed!

As I leave Tulsa, I would say my birthday in Pawhuska was the best! Spending time in nature and a bed and breakfast, and eating out and shopping in a small town was better than I thought !

My walk at midnight in the woods with Kristi B. was AWESOME!! Nature never felt so good! I can truly say that the love of the people in Tulsa was genuine and felt like home!

(My home away from home!)‚ėļÔłŹūüĎčūüŹĺ

So… one might imagine …

Leaving Tulsa… is like a fine memory of Iove, laughter and life.. I spent most of my forties here.. it‚Äôs where I ‚Äėreally‚Äô grew up. Where I matured. I don‚Äôt think you really know you loved some places until you have to leave them. Loved the people, loved the work, & I loved the learning … So So much Learning! I made a lot of mistakes; but man, did I learn from them. Some of my greatest lessons of love‚̧ԳŹ have been spun in the web of conflict resolution and difficulty . Yet I‚Äôm grateful.
Thanks loved ones!

Gonna miss ya!

Looking Into The Windows of my Soul…

Sometimes I look deeper..

Deeper within.

‘Cause I hope you know that Vulnerability is an eye to the window of your soul.

I remember a time when I knew I had skills; yet I didn’t use them.

I took no risks.

It wasn’t until I began to “call myself a photographer, that I truly became one.”

It wasn’t until I began to “call myself a writer that I became an author.”

And it wasn’t until I began to find my voice and project vision, that I ‘knocked the socks off’ my listeners with my speaking.

I am somebody.

How do I know? I sow seed and it produces some thirty, sixty, one hundred-fold.

I am Enough.

I Trust enough.

I Lead enough.

I Pledge to BE excellent enough…

I Thrive enough.

I excel enough.

I am God perfect plan to bless the earth with His Goodness , His Mercy, His Light.

The sky is the limit,

The earth is my classroom,

And God people are my prospects.

Let’s Go!

Settling.

Greener Pastures: (My post on Better Self-Worth& Esteem)

Psalm 23:1

The Lord is My Shepherd. I lack nothing.”

I‚Äôm learning to appreciate everything these days….. And I am blessed to be able to be living in a place where I‚Äôve been for seven years. It‚Äôs been a journey of acceptance; yet also esteem.

Approximately 13 or 14 years ago I was in a flux… trying to decide whether or not I should relocate to a new state, (D.C.) -and begin all over again. I decided I would begin there again …and get a new start. That has been one of the biggest and grandest decisions of my life. It has matured me. Encouraged me to be a grown-up! And to learn how to ‚Äúlive life‚ÄĚ again after deep sorrows. Once I mastered living in DC; My husband found me. Only problem was…(He lived in Texas!!) I remember his words before he got out of my car and few back to TX that long weekend we shared at the African Heritage conference: “What would it take to get you to move to Texas?”

I paused, thought about it and said: ” I’d have to be getting married or have a really GOOD job.” He said: Okay… I’ll work on that.” I smiled. But had no huge hopes….heck, I’d just finished another trip down ‘marriage lane’ , and was not in any rush to do it again.

Can I say this man mapped out a really good plan? I believe that’s how I knew he was the one. He sent for me a month later.. & within six months I was in Texas with my own apartment! One year later, we were married.

Texas was home for for 4 years… and then we shifted to our destined place; Tulsa, OK. – & I fought being a mid-westerner with all my being….‚ÄĚOle Okie‚ÄĚ kinda grew on me.

I can truly say Oklahoma has brought me greener pastures and as been a beautiful journey to better esteem. ‚̧ԳŹ

I’m not a cliche’ person who believes that esteem comes via a mans influence on a woman… but I’d venture to say , if he is truly the one.. and he ‘models’ excellent esteem, he can sure make a woman feel quite worthy.

Worth comes from loving yourself and cherishing what you bring to the table. This man and his long talks had me convinced he’d found his ” good thing”. Since being married to Tim, I’ve invested in my self-worth and delighted in being encouraged by a husband who encourages this as a lifestyle.

Everything from giving me books to read on self-care; feeding the ‘goodness’ with my personality; encouraging positive friendships; being creative with my hobbies; starting women’s groups; exercising; going on trips; encouraging my spirituality… the list goes on.

I feel worthy today.

And “settling” was not in the plan. It wasn’t always my dream. God changed that. He had to make me feel worthy of this kind of settling, then changed my heart, my soul and my mind.

And now I’m on a journey to feeling complete . And a healthy marriage encourages this lifestyle.‚̧ԳŹ

I have committed this year in 2018 to writing about ūüíé Diamonds my online course and writing about the gems therein. To make it even more exciting, I’m challenging myself to write a book on how I got to the “Other Side” of pursuing me.” Stay tuned as I share more on this journey, & shall eventually provide links to this course.

Confidence.

Since this month I am  speaking about esteem…  and where it comes from  and how it’s developed, I wanted to share  my story on  how I personally developed  my confidence and esteem .

It’s  a story of several  weaved into one,  but  they  all have   deep meaning.   My  story  doesn’t  begin here.. but I wanted to share  this  belief with you , because this young student  from South Africa  spoke to my heart and through my heart into something i have always believed.  She was the essence of my dream, articulated.     And  this was  when  I rose to the occasion and began  ‘activating’ my journey. 

It was  in    May of 2003  and  this room of young people had been gathered together to be encouraged.   I was not  surprised,  but then I was.  They were here to  hear a woman from  America  speak about following their dreams.   Why? because  young people in South Africa, particularly in Kuma,  South  Africa – in this  case,  had  been discouraged.  Suicide was  rampant,  across the land –  and  they needed a voice of encouragement.     And God sent me. 

I had  known I was up for the challenge, indeed

It had taken  six months to get here.  And I knew I was coming, but I had to be prepared.   So six months prior God began to establish His  message in me.  It  was a lot of  quiet time spent with Him to  hear what He wanted me to say.  I decided   during this  time , that if God was going to send me to South  Africa,  I  must have  had something mighty  important to say.

Standing before that room and listening to this  young lady, I had heard this before.  I had  heard this  in my Bible,  in my  teacher’s  rooms,  and I  heard the same voice of  encouragement in mother’s voice,  my mentors and auntie’s voices  that were  encouraging me on.   You see, what she  saw,  I saw  because  those gone before me  had manifested that belief in me.   I  knew the strength  she  knew was in her people;  she had believed was there all along.

And  so, my confidence  has come through the walking of other’s  shoes.  The  stride of their pride,  and the   risks they have taken to make  the  messages they  believed in made clear.   Without those  risks – they would not be where they were.  I told them  the risk I took in leaving everything in America behind.   I   did not believe I could make it to  S. Africa, and yet here I was , standing in a room before them,  encouraging their hearts  – Because  God chose me. 

I  told them how I was  chosen , the opposition I came up  against, and  how I still made it to speak to them.  It took  loads of faith.  Not just mine… but  others.   Then I turned the page, and told them I  came on  the backs of my ancestors.  And I knew I had to get to Africa  because  it was home. Home of my identity. And I told them how privileged they were to be in touch with the honor of being home. And living “at home”. they  were the dream  I had set out to be.  The dream of knowing and believing I had to return to my  ancestors   place of residence,  and “be that Queen.” 

The  queen  that  spoke largely to my destiny and my  significance, and the  queen  that  I studied about  – and who had lived  here in Africa, long before them. 

Yes,  they were   surprised they were my inspiration.

But my  inspiration had a long and lengthy legacy  of hope and faith.

 Selah. 

I have committed this year in 2018 to writing about ūüíé Diamonds my online course and writing about the gems therein. To make it even more exciting, I’m challenging myself to write a book on how I got to the “Other Side” of pursuing me.”stay tuned as I share more on this journey, & eventually provide links to the course.

I Am Enough Because I Am Wise.

 I Am  Enough Because I Am Wise.

So what does it really mean to be wise?

Does being wise mean… to be humble?

Does it mean we should consult with someone else who has  good advice, can problem-solve, help us manage our lives better or may give good counsel?

Or does it mean simply having good sense In knowing how to respond?

Perhaps.

…Or maybe it means being still enough to take care of our lives ¬†because we care enough about our lives to be safe, discerning and aware.

Perhaps where I am wisest is when I spend time in the presence of friends. I have wise friends. There is a scripture in the bible that says : “The is safety in a multitude of counselors.‚ÄĚ
I love that scripture. It has resounded over the years with me. I have realized over time that perhaps the best ¬†acumen, has come from experience as my ¬†teacher. With my experiences, I have ¬†gained such rewarding treatment and insight from friends who in my own¬†personal¬†struggles, when I needed¬†such¬†wisdom, –¬†sowed¬†complete love for me, ¬†and their wise actions and advice, benefited me greatly as I endured my situation. ¬†The intuition ¬†and ¬†inspiration was on an entirely different level and ¬†completely humbling. ¬† As a result, I have ¬†compassion for ¬†them an for others who have experienced similar situations. It led me to ¬†write my book, Red Sea Situations.

I believe one of the most humbling  situations I experienced, was  a friend who helped me when I had no where else to go. She had always told me, because she knew I was going through a hard time no matter when or what time it was, whenever I needed a place to go, I could just stop by.

One night I thought I was close to losing it, and I knew I just needed solace.¬†So I ¬†went over my friend’s home…and it was about 10:15pm. When I arrived at her door, her husband answered, he smiled, and ¬†didn’t say a word. All ¬†he said was: “She’s ¬†is upstairs, go ahead on up.” ¬†(Can I say I have respect for a ¬†man who allows his ¬†wife’s friend to come over so late in the evening , so she can support her?) Clearly, I had been crying, and I slipped past him. When I go to the top of the stairs, ¬†I heard her talking to her boys ¬†in a very sacred moment, and she said, “Come on in, Jenn.” She was there with the two of them, they were about three and six years old, and ¬†she was hugging on them in bed. She made space for me, and ¬†welcomed me in me bed with them. We didn’t talk much that night, we just laid there in quiet and peace. Her boys smiling and ¬†she interacting and mothering them, and I quietly watched them enjoy and love on one another. I never felt so welcomed. to this day, our bond is unbreakable.

Now, this has nothing to do with me, and my wisdom. However, my friend’s wisdom in this moment taught me how to be wise.

Her wisdom taught me how when I am at my lowest point to embrace someone in love and just acceptance, is the very best  action of love. For me, wisdom and love, really are not far  apart. In fact, they are cousins. I  also found out that I don’t have to know all the details, I just need to love on them.  There’s a time and a season for everything, and sometimes knowledge isn’t necessary. She didn’t know, and still doesn’t know what I was experiencing that evening, but what maters is that I  knew she was there, and that she loved me. To me, that’s agape love. The God-kind of love. From this one action, I have found that I can love people without words, in such an amazing way, and that it involves just seeing that their soul is so worthy of love. This type of ‘friend -awareness’ has allowed me to be the same kind of friend.

On a lighter note,

I am wise because I am clever.

Cleverness is not  a word I use very much n my vocabulary, yet I find very attractive. My husband is rather clever. It was attractive to me from the first day I met him. And his cleverness tends to rub off on me at times. Cleverness involves, quick wit, charm, and  wise words, and at times a bit of playfulness. Perhaps the playfulness is the most fun. Being clever involves finding  a certain resourcefulness from within. It’s understanding how to use integrity to teach someone by not reacting. It also involves  not  stooping to a level of  personal embarrassment or  ignorance  because someone else does. Not allowing their impulsivity, unkindness and lack of intellect, to move me with words. I think I learned how to be clever once I  decide din my mind I didn’t care what others thought about me. It was freeing.  I decided that once I had made up my mind, and it made sense and I had  filtered it through my wisest  friends, and they were in agreement, it was well. And no one’s opinions mattered. My clever quick wit would then pounce back on others when they had comments  or opinions about my  actions in which they did not agree. I admire folk who can take judgment and  crush it as soon as someone swings it at them, and  keeps on  walking without shame or resentment because they are confident they are in a good place.

I am wise because I am contemplative.
Contemplation is one of my favorite things to do. As an introvert, I tend to find myself when I contemplate. Whether it involves speaking to myself, my heart, and pondering the actions of my day I find rest in re-evaluation. If I don’t do re-evaluate, I become restless.
What is in this restless space? Unawareness? A lack of purpose? Dis-alignment? Is that why when I am not looking within, I falter?
I get nervous, my anxiety peaks, or I have a loss for words? I prefer contemplation in order to help me rest. I may not have even realized the extent to which I depend upon what I call : ‚Äúfinding center‚ÄĚ Laraine Herring in the book: “Writing Begins With Breath: Embodying your Authentic Voice‚ÄĚ, says after the basic needs of food air, water and shelter are met, most of our actions and behaviors stem from a need for love, compassion, understanding and emotional safety.‚ÄĚ I find that interesting, because that means if this is true, most of what I seek, when I look within, is about finding self love.( Read about  my  self love and being enough in another story.)

I must say however; some of the most unwise persons have hurt me. have been unreasonable,  inattentive ungraceful and  ill-mannered people I know, because they lacked compassion.   Indeed, perhaps this scripture measures up when wisdom is most attractive: “Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” (Psalm 85:10)

jennifer

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HAPPY People are Healthy People

Just sharing on how Happy People Are Healthy People! #NthabiHappy

 Happy people  do healthy  activities.

  1. ¬†Happy¬† people¬† care about¬† who they call “friends”.¬†They make¬† good choices¬† about who they spend their time with , and if those people are not¬† encouraging or¬† ¬†uplifting, they detach.
  2.  Happy  people  enjoy  good company of  those who pour  goodness into their lives.  They seek out mentors and people of faith to  encourage the lower  points of their lives, when they are down or discouraged. They seek out those who  encourage their leadership.
  3.  Happy people  are people who  watch what they eat.  As unpleasant as something might be to eat, if they  enhance your  overall body  weight ,  feeling and  energy,  you  DO IT!.  If you have to  get a partner, you have to   ask for help, you have to  join a group, you   DO IT!
  4.  Happy  people  love to  do  self-care.  They  walk, they  spend time pampering themselves,  they  eat  right,  and not too much  junk(  they might cheat once a week) ,  they  spend money on themselves without feeling  guilty, because they work hard and   love to look in the mirror and see a  good reflection smiling back   at them,)

Take a ride here and see what I am   taking about over on  Facebook!  I have a lot to   say lately  about  HAPPINESS!

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My Natural Hair Story/Journey

If you’d ask what’s the one thing that helps me to feel alive…its my hair. ¬†I a absoooooolutely ¬†love ¬†having ¬† locs that are free …MOST of the time, and ¬†it ¬†feels ¬†good to ¬† just have natural ¬†hair that GOD made… and ¬†see how the journey ¬†helps me to be free ¬†with the ¬†growth and ¬†I am ¬†intrigued most of the time to ¬†see what God does with it, next!

Washing my hair can be a source of pure pride. I actually have this sort of “glee” inside when I wash it, because I am often each time I am reminded of my spiritual journey. Perhaps because i researched a bit, and found hair is symbolic of several things: power, pride, shame & glory; and I even read some place it is relative to being thought of as: “the external soul”. Deep.

So.. Here’s my “Hair Story :

Over the past 8 yrs, I’ve wrestled with my hair. Its been quite a journey. “Should I cut it? Should I keep it long?” Will I know what to do with it when it grows out of control?” i now know that growing out of control was just an illusion, and I had issues with what people thought. So glad hat has subsided, and been buried in the ground. My hair has a preserving effect. It has kept me strong and delighted. hopeful and observant. And Telling. (Yes, with a capital ‘T’.) Because there is a certain “earthi-ness”, that comes with me, and I simple adore. I don’t like being categorized or placed into any one’s spectrum. I love to be brave, and have recognized the strength in being a brave soul. It’s been a journey, of sorts. A blessed one, indeed. One that has matured me, delighted my soul, kept me sane, and I can easily trace back to major sentiments and transitions in my life.

One of them being on the heels of a return from S. Africa, and a love for the people and how their hair were often personal & cultural statements about their lives, and mirrors to their soul. I now realize the ‘wrestling’ was not just with me, it was with my soul. And my lifestyle. And my choices about how I LIVED my life. I have realized where this new hair journey began for me, began with several new beginnings, and with each new beginning, I feel that much more resolve.

I am grateful for my hair journey today, the maturity, the resolve, the growth of my life and person-hood, and the courageous young woman it has helped me to become as i delved a little deeper in my soul, noticed where my life was going, considered what ‘beauty’ and Nthabi, looked like… (my African name). I have found my life wrapped up in my hair these past eleven yrs, and I am proud to say the woman I was then, I am no longer. My hair has evolved with me. Even my confidence, my refuge in this past year, and often my awakening.

Selah. 10-29-31.

†****††***†*****†††*******************†*††***

August 28,  2017.

Recently I changed my hair color and found my personality changing with it. Feels good to have options that add to your livelihood and manner of being!

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I AM ENOUGH BECAUSE I AM AWARE.

2D278918544E4C25A95045BF2C4CD158-1.jpgI decided to write a new series. I was in a ¬†Celebrate Recovery group and¬† talking about feeling “helpless”. It was a process for me to discuss in group, because as soon as I¬† spoke about why I tend to feel worried and¬† procrastinate on some things, I realized that¬† This vulnerable space I often feel between¬† not worrying and trusting God¬† causes me to¬† feel way too vulnerable.

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I Am Enough Because I Am Aware. 

Aware of what? Yogu may ask.
I am aware of my surroundings, the people I love and even the people I am not all that crazy about. I am aware of where I am going, and often where I am I am aware of the mistakes I have made, and the ones that  I almost made. I am  aware.
Awareness is about being tuned in. Choosing to  listen, tune in and observe. I hear what my soul is saying: My mind will and emotions, and I am  listening to what is right for me.
  1. ¬†What is right, or isn’t right… in my relationships?
  2. ¬†What is right,¬†or isn’t right¬†for me in regard to my emotions?
  3. ¬†What is right or isn’t right, for me ¬†in terms of how¬†I¬†operate in this world?
  4.  Who am I influencing and am I a RESOURCE  to someone else?
  5. 5. Am I really taking a God-honest look and reflection of how I present myself in this world?
Am I responsive to others in my circle?
Do I have a protective circle of adults, friends and  teachers/mentors who  reach out to me, assist me in decision-making and share their lives with me on some level?
Who are these people who help me to stay aware?
* ( You fill them in: ) 
  1. My Mentors:
  2. My Family Members:
  3. My Friends:
  4. My (Adult) Teachers:
  5. My (Adult)Leaders: (both in my life and in the media or books.)
Please note the names and reasons why these persons are significant in your life, today. How do they aid in helping your progress, grow and  become your best self?
Then ask yourself:
How often do you connect with them?
 
As a  young woman who is tuned in and AWARE :
I realize I must be productive, mature, positive, acquainted and alert .
 
I am productive.
I tell you , this one took a while. ¬†I ¬†used to find it hard to stay¬†productive. always learning, absorbing, seeking knowledge… Something was always in the way of my growth and progress for a while. Then ¬†I had to take ownership and make personal goals about where I wanted to end up. ¬†I actually take the time to read daily the blogs of persons that¬†inspire¬†my passions of photography, and of ¬†writing, and self-awareness . ¬†It has¬†definitely¬†made me more¬†creative. Yes,I study my craft. The things I am in good in. ¬†Communicating, ¬†Perceiving, Writing, and Observing. (And those are just a few.) ¬†I wasn’t even aware I was really doing this, until I had a really major epiphany /downfall ¬†in about 1997. It was more emotional ¬†and¬†spiritual¬†than it was mental. Well, I take that back, it was actually very mental.
I ¬†was ¬†in really made aware and I realized how unimportant TV is, to making me a¬†whole¬†person. I thought: ‚ÄúI am a person who is well-loved, ¬†complete, and ¬†considerate of others’ and their personal growth. And i want to give that back to others. How can I do it? ¬†Because when I was struggling, ¬†and my life had fallen apart, I wanted to help others pick backup the pieces. And so I committed myself greatly to that goal.
 
I am mature.
I don’t waste time ¬†on issues that are petty and ¬†issues that don’t matter. I spend time alert to how I can grow to be a better person and thrive in the skin I am in. I ¬†work my strengths. I¬†challenge¬†myself to take on new projects or learn new ¬†skills that help perfect my ¬†work, my calling and my purpose.
 
I  am positive.  I am  one who tends to notice people, point out what is of interest to me, and I compliment what I see. If I see value in them, I note it. I am embrace what they give me, as well.  When negative energy surrounds me, I choose to remove myself from it, because I am clear it will not help me to continue to grow and evolve, and RISE. I know myself. I am willing to share myself with others, as they treat me with the respect I deserve, and I am familiar with people  who have like-passion and purpose.
 
I am acquainted Рwith myself and others.
Why is it important to¬†¬†be familiar ¬†with persons of similar passions, they enhance and direct me ¬†closer to my goals and my purpose in life?¬†Because¬†it’s¬†energizing! Synergetic! I have so much fun being connected to people who ¬†actually love some of the things I love! And we join together for a common purpose, and common goals! It feel absolutely¬†synergistic! Some of the most influential moments in my life have been in the¬†presence¬†of leaders ¬†and deep thinkers who ¬† move me of out complacency and encourage me to be a better person and become more¬†self-actualized.
 
I am alert.¬†I am careful about my relationships and I am careful about who I surround myself with as resource. Relationships can be the most ¬†helpful or the most¬†hurtful¬†aspects of your life that ¬†either help you ¬†to soar, or cause you to become quite defeated. I¬†have¬†learned from enough hurtful relationships, that it’s not worth my time, nor my energy.¬†
Bottom line:
¬†Why invest ¬†and waste time in something that¬†doesn’t¬†help me to be better? I have become so much better as a person because of people who were attentive, involved and noticed my strengths and help me build them.¬†Those¬†who helped me to become, and¬†¬† and¬†invested¬†in me.
 
I am appreciative. ¬†I am aware of when I need to be grateful and practice gracious living. I used to always pray for humility. I believe I used to know that being the babe in the family made me less aware and less conscious of the need to be aware,¬†because¬†everyone took care of me and things for me.¬†I know , that I was a very ¬†hard time in my life, right? (I’m being sarcastic).¬†I was really blessed to have¬†people¬†care for me in ways completely undeserved, but I also know that I have to begin to get over myself. Being so important at a young age, made me take things also for granted, and I needed to grow up. So I had to ¬†learn¬†to be grateful, and ¬†it took a while to learn that. I ¬†began to use prayer as a¬†vehicle¬†to¬†help me.
When¬†I¬†am¬†UNAWARE, here‚Äôs what happens: I¬†neglect myself. I ¬†tend to do things that dont help me to grow, nor thrive I tend to not care about anyone, even myself. When I am neglectful, I am ¬†talking too much, and not listening enough. I am full of myself , when I am ¬†neglectful. More ‚Äúme‚ÄĚ than needs to be.‚ėļÔłŹ I ¬†tend to not ¬†be very thankful either, when I am¬†full of ¬†myself.
 
Have you ever been more concerned about yourself than what‚Äôs really important ?¬† It’s not just being conceited, either, I tell you… it’s being like a glutton. ¬†Consuming and wanting¬†something¬†so bad you’d do anything to get it. Quite honestly, that may involve being out of control. Immoderate. ¬†I don’t like that feeling of being out of control. It makes you feel small, and¬†insignificant. It makes you feel like you are not very important and… I don’t think we are well-liked ¬†when we lack self-control. With every ¬†act of ¬†pride, a lack of self-control follows.
What self neglect can look like for me:
 
when I am UNAWARE, I don’t take CARE OF ME.
– Not eating healthy –¬†(eating too much junk food)
– Not resting well –¬†(staying up all hours of the night)
РNot spending time with people who appreciate me, or my time. (being with inconsiderate persons)

When I am UNAWARE, I am Negative.