“The Voice of the Mother

“The voice of the mother is kind, soft, serene, nurturing, warm.  
The voice of the mother is instructional, healing, 
encouraging
The voice of the mother watches out for her young,
Tailors their lives on the path of hope. 
The voice of the mother warns her babies of harm or danger of the need for safety.
The voice of the mother brings life to death situations.

The voice of the Mother is guidance, 
She arms her young wisdom, endurance, love and description. 
The voice of the mother teaches, shares, develops. The voice of the mother is stirring, firm, positions, directs –
The voice of the mother reaches, questions, inquires, searches and mends.  
The voice of the mother is empowered, informed by struggle and ensures by experience – is focused.

The voice of the mother is growth . 
The voice of  the mother stills, quiets, hushes brings attention. 
The voice of the mothers sings .

Is beautiful lovely .
 A fragrant,  comforting
 the voice of the mother is peace.

-Nthabiseng

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Hello, …South Africa!

South Africa was a really fun place to be. Smiles everywhere… from the people and not just small smirks or blushes but bright, shining smiles that were pure joy!

For faces to light up after years of oppression, death and sadness showed me that people were really blessed find a secret joy that made them feel alive and free. Even the little brown children’s cheeks would glow red. It was like I was living in a dream, actually, because the people’s lives were so vastly different than my own.

I pondered this thought: after years of the suppression and oppression, that the people of South African descent would have loads of residue that would still exist – even ten years after apartheid ended its reign- which was when I visited. Internally, this may be true; however the fact remains that maybe also they were glad to finally be “free” and that joy is what resonated with me upon my visit.

There were several signs of poverty and the shantytowns ( row and rows of tiny homes and shacks made by those living in the villages) that had several holes in them that kept out some light- not all, but not the cold. I remember the chill of the morning in May of 2003, and seeing the cold of my breath, in the AM hours, and the tiny holes where sunlight came in.

I wondered to myself:

How do they rest, when it’s so cold? Then, I realized  REST in something developed within. It really doesn’t matter how cold you are on the outside, if you can  develop a peace within and contentment from  living in  a community with people who care for you. My South African friends taught me this.  I was only there for  three weeks, and  it feels like the lessons I learned were  forever lessons. 

 I can only imagine how difficult it was to sleep in a place like this in the winter.

Yet these smiling faces never stopped showing up .. time and time again…they were inspiring for me, hopeful and helpful. Even to me, as a visitor. At the time, I was facing an imminent divorce, as I returned to the states.

I can truly say,  the  people in this country inspired me, rejuvenated me, and sparked my joy once again. Their inspired living caused me to reach for more. To make certain I lived out the meaning of my new name: Nthabiseng -which means Make Me Happy.

Thank you, South Africa.

Ase’

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

New Doors, Open Landscapes

Today, I spent time in my mind. Making a creative space. A room to where I could go and create.

That my dream.

Have you ever had a vision for something, and created a lace your min made it comfy with all you could ever place in that space, then just spent time there, creating?

Well I had it in reality before I came to Rochester. Now, I return in my mind because it helps me to relax, and envision.

Keeps my creative juices flowing.

This picture above was taken in Bend, Oregon. I’ve never been there. Just asked my husband to send a picture from there, while he visited on business. (I may not have captured this vision had he not sent it .) But I’m glad I have it. It helped me envision.

My room I created is creatively mauve, soft, warm, inviting, sunny & bright. With floor to ceiling windows. And it smells like lemon. That’s my place . Kindness dwells there.

It’s Refreshing. Open. Free.

I’m not sure what your room looks like, but envision it, and leave every worry, hurt, disgruntlement and grudge behind . It’s your room.

No one else’s.

Create your space.

You’re the Painter… 🧑🏽‍🎨

Selah.

The Value of Vulnerability in My Life.

As I look back on my life, I’ve had my share of unhealthy relationships. I believe the hardest part during this season of life for me was discerning was what was really “healthy” and what was really “unhealthy”. I don’t really know that Ii had been taught that by example.

I believe I was simply unaware. Looking back, I wish i had spent more time with my younger self to determine who I was and what I desired in life, in order to have clarity about what I needed in a relationship.

I had not defined for myself what I needed, and valued and had not committed completely and wholeheartedly that those values were essential for me to thrive and to grow & thrive, in life .

Looking back: I am thinking of my journey saying to myself:

“What in the world was I doing?!”

Yeah, and it makes so much sense now that I know who I am …what my self -worth needs in order to thrive and be connected to another human being. I know what it means to be loved, and ‘in love.’

So I am going to share some thoughts on being in a healthy ‘vulnerable ‘ relationship, that helps us to thrive and be our best selves in our relationships .

I have decided to approach it from a vulnerable place, because I just like to be transparent . Vulnerability requires trust. And if you love someone vulnerability should be an essential part of helping that relationship to grow completely as individuals and also as a couple. Vulnerability with your partner should never be considered a weakness. You should continually be moving towards fruitfulness and transparency and greater love.

Here are a few things that being vulnerable in a relationship teaches you:

1. Vulnerability teaches you to ask for help. You increase your connectedness to others and learn to empathize with them. It’s essential for growth.

2. Being vulnerable teaches you the unknown parts of yourself. You develop a sense of resiliency and it challenges your authenticity – your heart mind and soul. It also helps you to be more self-aware.

3. With vulnerability, you develop a new appreciation for self-care. Self-care is essential to a certain level of awareness and patterns with yourself. Being able to address them with honesty, help you to grow in vulnerability.

4. Vulnerability teaches you to walk in realness. There’s a level of authenticity that comes from sharing honestly with others and you choose to listen, share and engage differently.

5. Vulnerability teaches you to connect better to your emotional self. Knowing “why” you’re angry; “why “ you’re sad, and why you’re emotional and choosing to do continual, intentional self-evaluation – helps you notice yourself on another level.

6. Being vulnerable allows you to have a better relationship with Grace. Not everyone understands grace and how to live in congruence with it; but what vulnerability teaches you is that grace is something we can ‘expect ‘ and ‘choose’ and live with intentionally, despite how we feel about life and how they occur- that things will get better, we will overcome ; and life can depended upon to operate in a full circle, that’s complete .

7. Vulnerability teaches you to be grateful and share your thankfulness. Appreciation comes in several selfless acts. When you share openly, of what you’re thankful for you’ll find people appreciate you, and consider the same blessings . Is this something that is reciprocated in your relationships? If not, it’s something to consider.

8. Vulnerability teaches you to be patient with yourself . When you push yourself past your limitations and you learn how to deal with successes despite being frustrated. You teach others how to be patient , as well.

9. Author and spiritual leader Spencer Kimball says that “Humility is royalty without a crown.” Humility is learned by truly being vulnerable. Being able to acknowledge your weaknesses and to grow in wisdom and grace daily with intention, are life’s truest blessings.

10. Vulnerability teaches you the most meaningful thing in life are learned by “pacing yourself ” through life. When I ‘slow my roll’ , I am informed, I am clear, I make room for more. Vulnerability leads me into the experience of “more”…

11. Vulnerability teaches you to release. It helps you to recognize when you’re burdened or heavy, and that relationship , or situation needs to be let go. Maybe you’re carrying more than you should, if you have not yet recognized the value of letting go. When you choose to really ‘ think about what you’re thinking’, choosing to let go of weight that causes anxiety and stress helps us find a way to cope with our inadequate thoughts and insecurities. That’s truly being vulnerable.

Well …. we’ve come to the end of this segment. what have you learned that’s new today? Take one element of vulnerability and commit to trying something new in your relationships and trusting yourself to grow just a bit more.

Did you enjoy this reading? Do you desire more self-guided exercises on self -development? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

Changed My Name, Change My Life…

I recently heard someone mention how names are so important. They said something like this: ‘Names introduce a certain ‘honor’ into your life when you inform people how to honor your name.’

So this blog piece is about naming and changing – and how changing my name to “Make Me Happy” when I went to South Africa, changed my life.

In May of 2003, I searched out my own happiness, and began a new personal journey. I don’t believe I shared much about my full transformation. Interestingly enough,…I found it in Kuma, South Africa.

I found myself having a greater purpose in another country. Teaching and ministering to kids and adults and helping them thrive despite being in poverty situations and helping those who suffered life challenges and found themselves having little hope. To be honest, my own hope was at its lowest. I was trying to decide if I should continue with my first marriage. This journey would be telling.

My “BOUNDARIES of Blessing”, began here, in South Africa. It was a journey that redeemed my worth and my significance. I found I actually existed for a greater cause and purpose. And when living in my purpose, I FELT SO WORTHY. Maybe it was the Resolve I felt. And that, resolve could change a Nation. If I had the team of women around me like I had in South Africa, with me in the U.S.A., I would have more than enough support.

My name change in South Africa – or the African name given to me – was “Nthabiseng “. Nthabiseng means : “Make Me Happy”, and this name became a personal mandate of my own, or a personal mission – and I began the journey for myself first, and then for others. I realized walking in Purpose, in my own Happiness, and in my own purpose and living for myself, my youth was renewed. I felt alive again! Almost as if I’d been resurrected.

Well first of all… my first lesson learned – I had to acquiesce, to get there. (I yielded without protest.) I am learning most blessings come via surrender. I noticed once I stopped trying to make life be something it really was not… neither had the potential to be; and stopped sacrificing my peace for others who didn’t value it as highly as I did – my life became better. I learned so much when I discovered this. I had finally began to live for myself.

I wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life. I would often contemplate and hesitate in my life and ponder were things worth it or was “I worth it” Sure, I was worth it! Should I move on with my life – or keep trying to love where love was not returned? I finally came to the decision love can’t be embraced with someone it was never taught and cherished , with humility. And that life is too short. You have to keep living. Because you can stop living for yourself to the point you are almost dying. And then, what good is that? For your dreams die with you.

 

Secondly, I began to appreciate and be grateful for new experiences learned and used them as stepping stones to get me to higher places. For instance I began to challenge myself and ask myself : “Why  work in Syracuse just because I lived there?” I then found myself searching for jobs I liked outside my ‘four walls’ and found a good one in a small town in N.Y. working with adolescent boys in foster care and this began a new trajectory for me in terms of my work. I realized that loving and nurturing boys who had never been truly nurtured before was definitely a passion of mine, and fulfilling work. That they needed this love; for them to be full grown men. Perhaps innately and most unconsciously if I loved them this way – as a social worker who worked with boys; perhaps then, I would not help some women then- not waste time loving them, as broken men.

I believe I also learned what it meant to be Free. To live and have fun for the very first time in my life. I learned I could enjoy company and make good decisions and make friends miles away in another culture and country and it felt good to not need permission to do that.

These were new beginnings for me. I learned I could live and survive on my own. Eight months later I was moving to a place I loved: Washington, D.C. It completely changed my LIFE.

 Then, I decided to look inside. I went a little deeper; & began to self- evaluate.

I believe in the power of naming. Naming can change perspective and change life commitment. In my book, Red Sea Situations, I speak to powerful names of God and how altars – like the places I’ve been to – these representations of love and struggle in life are not always negative places – but places that ushers God’s true presence in your life, so you can change your life and perspective.

Get a revelation on how changing your life, your purpose, and your direction can change your life. It may also change YOU.

To dream a bit brighter, be a little lighter and smile a little happier.

Selah.

Indwelling: The Special Nuances Friendships Make.

Indwelling.

Is there such a word? I was reading today in the Word how being in fellowship with friends and others and also God-we learn how to be built up, and grow. We make more room for growth by allowing for friendships; and sometimes those friendships have a God-nature, if you will that comforts.

That’s cool. It makes sense. I really didn’t have a desire for friendships much when I was younger. Like in my twenties. I pretty much isolated myself and spent time with my first husband a lot. Well… not really. After we became kind of estranged in our marriage, I spent a lot of time line, actually. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I bonded with two girlfriends who were friends by nature of my struggle and had similar concerns, as I.

They were raising children and I kind of admired their children and how they mothered and loved their children as my own, so I became family, with them and helped them. It was nice, since I didn’t have children of my own, and I was considering that. That never really happened, having the children (for me), but I learned so much about mothering from them. So much about nurturing.

And how we “did life together “; ho wE fellowshipped together – a lot of time. spent together, talking about life, cooking, playing, talking about God together,, and eating together. Yes fellowshipping. Interactive with the children together- and watching them grow. This was over a period of eight to ten years or so.

Indwelling.

I never thought much until now, about how I grew because of them. Their depth of character and their faith and friendship. There were times when I wasn’t sure I could go on and they had this soothing, mothering nature that just knew I needed them. Their company and friendship, their love. Possibly no retry conscious to them, this was; yet oblivious to me. I was just trying to survive.

I never thought about how God used them. To provide an indwelling. (A motivating force for me.)

So yes, there is such a word. I looked it up. Indwelling means ‘to provide a motivating or guiding force ‘- “to possess (a person), as a moral principle …or as a motivating force.” That’s pretty deep. That it can work for us positively, or even negatively, depending upon whom we spend time with, and how often and how we low them to influence us . Yes, indwelling.

Indwelling forces. They are almost mysterious in several ways. I mean who thinks about them when they are happening?

Who tends to notice ‘how we bond’, when we are bonding, right? I didn’t. Perhaps this is how and when I learned to receive from others. In my struggle. When I didn’t understand what life was offering me, and I didn’t want whatnot set before me. Perhaps in Gods awesome Grace I received friends and was taught invaluable life lessons. Perhaps. via friendships I survived. I yielded. I acquiesced.( I yielded without protesting.) Hmm…

Okay. So thanks God. For friendships then, and friendships now – and what I offer now, and was not fully aware I was being then, even. By nature of how my relationships have formed today, thank you for allowing me to mentor and nurture women today,

I am indwelling.

Providing a motivating force and guiding force for women, looking back and noticing what I needed, and revived and what helped me to survive. That’s for the mentoring of me, so I could mentor today.

Yes. An indwelling.

Selah.

Question: Where does your indwelling come from? Do you nurture it or ignore it? Are you even aware as to whether it exists?

Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.

A Merrier Christmas’ than Before.🎄

This was Christmas, this year.

I unexpectedly had a great Christmas. We lost our dad about two months ago, and I didn’t really expect it to be so neat! It’s important to know that during the holiday season some want to be with family, yet they cannot, because they have passed on. Some families don’t even get along much, which places a damper on things.

This Christmas I went outside and enjoyed some snow, few smiles, took pictures of pretty things, and ate some good food. They seem small, however; they are huge when some don’t even have that.

I didn’t get a lot of 🎁 , but then I didn’t really need any. That was like “totally” fine, because at age 50 it seems for me it’s really becoming about everyone else anyway.. at least during this year, anyway.

We even sang a bit, which made it merrier.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This is my sweetie with his guitar. It was a delightful Christmas weekend with hubby and family. Nice and quiet , yet enjoyable.

They even ate most of my egg casserole! I think I like these. I really enjoyed how easy it was to make . So I tried a few new things, and even Netflix(ed) it with a bad hair day! Watched a few Christmas movies and few comedies and laughed (out loud) right on my couch!

Life is full of meaningful moments.They are really what makes holidays special. Quality time, new experiences and love. 💕

Steadfast Faith.

Once upon a time I went to South Africa.  I never I swear believed such a  dream was possible. Sometime it still feels like a dream. But i did go! May 14, 2003. South Africa was actually a dream come true. Its the first time I realized I could hold God to His word, and see the outcome of a literal miracle.

This is an excerpt from the book Red Sea Situations. If you would like to hear my  testimony of   when I went to  South Africa,   click here for the entire story.
Initially, my intent was to go to visit, but God had another plan. He began to reveal to me this “God – given dream” that involved what I love to do: Lead and teach youth and families. He gave me a prayer to pray during this time, that challenged by belief system, and my paradigm of thinking. This prayer and declaration I began speaking over my dream – defied my every thought about the possibility of going on such a trip. Yet because I knew “God (was) able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all I could ever ask or think”… I trusted God over my own thoughts. (Eph 3:20) – I acquiesced. I yielded to his plan.

One of the most powerful words God gave me before I began this journey of traveling to Africa was: “Just praise Me for it, even if you don’t believe it.” As crazy as it sounded, I did. I did it for about a year and a half, in fact, and with the regular routine of brushing my teeth and combing my hair every morning, I would sing my little praise song for about two minutes.” “Thank you Lord for allowing me to go to South Africa.” Exactly one and a half years later, I met someone who because of my prayers of faith, and thanksgiving, offered me that very opportunity. The irony of this situation was: I didn’t initially believe it. I thought the dream was simply a figment of my imagination and a desire. Yet, the more I praised God, and offered up thanksgiving, the more I began to believe it was possible. In fact, I even began to have more dreams of what I saw myself doing there, and involved in! It became exciting! As simple as this sounds, it really wasn’t. It takes a lot of work to challenge your paradigm. Yet early on, I committed that whatever I would do in Africa, it would be for God to receive glory.

So you can imagine the opposition of the enemy in trying to prevent it. I had people ask me: “So how are you going to go to Africa?” “What are you going to do there?” I was always prepared and would have answers. Thusly, I spent time with God asking Him about his plan for my life while I would be there. I had others who were in leadership positions resist me – and try to distract me from the opportunity. Yet I held on to the dream. When I became discouraged, God seemed to send angels (people – and perhaps even some invisible angels) out of the “woodwork” to assist me! In fact at one point, I couldn’t even see how this trip would be paid for, and someone I didn’t know very well but was inspired by my story and I believe ‘sent by God’ as the key person who influenced my dreams. She quickly assisted me with a ‘campaign of sorts’ to raise money in time for my departure. Within one week’s time, a miracle happened. I had all the money I needed in order to go to South Africa. Obviously, I was shocked. This circumstance revealed to me just how powerful praise, thanksgiving and worship- combined with faith – effects our dreams.

There were several things by faith, I enacted to make this literal ‘dream’ come true. I truly believe our faith can cause miracles to occur. 1.) Obedience to God’s plan and declaring the impossible became my mode of operation. I believe sometimes God tests our obedience to see if we will blindly follow. Isa 42:19 says : “Who is blind but my servant, or deaf as my messenger whom I send? Who is blind as my dedicated one, or blind as the servant of the LORD?” I read this for the first time in the Bible and was absolutely amazed that God calls the blind servant – “dedicated”. I thought to myself: “Wow… He really wants me blind and deaf… how does that benefit anything??” Yet then I remembered: It wasn’t about me, it was truly about Him. 2) Despite my fears, my reservations the challenges I faced – I risked of looking absolutely foolish. I allowed my faith in God to produce – follow through – and my reward was with me. It was like my “faith became the substance” needed to fuel and secure the dream. Hebrews 11:1 says : “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” KJV. The entire passage of scripture in Hebrews 11 gives testament to how the people of God were enabled by God’s power to see the impossible because they had an “open mind and heart change” to what God could do by His divine power. The most valuable lesson learned during this time of my life was: 3) God absolutely loves it when you express what you intend to do in faith, and brag on His ability to do it. (I would simply state what I wanted and that I believed with God’s help it would be possible.) It becomes a challenge then for God to produce it. I believe God loves to be challenged. I would be amiss to say I knew exactly how God worked that miracle in my life. All I know is, I kept believing. His word says in Hebrew 11:6 – “Without faith, it’s impossible to please God. He that comes to God must first believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him”. God was extremely pleased with my faith. Thusly, I received a reward. This reward – changed my entire life and future.

Now, when God gives me an assignment, I don’t nearly doubt as much as I used to, because the dreams keep getting bigger and bigger! When God tells me speaks to my heart about something I seek like Abraham to be fully persuaded – and I trust in God’s sovereign leadership over my life. I am radically inspired to be obedient, follow through, and trust His complete intention in the process of aligning my faith with His plan. In fact, I am propelled forward because I have seen what having faith in God can do.
Selah.
Written Sat  Jan.  15, 2011.

What’s Intriguing Right Now… in my life…

What I’m WATCHING…
I’m watching on Netflix “The Fosters”.
It’s a cool drama about foster families and I think I love the ‘kid actors on here And all they face from day to day. The show plays with the dangers of secrecy, and all that comes with it. And I love it.

What I’m READING…
I’ve been reading a few things. The last exciting book I read was Homecoming. Ex-cell-lent! It was long …and you had to stretch your Imagination a bit but it really got me lost in the lives of the people, their experiences and the mystery of family. Before , during and after the Middle Passage.

How I’m MENTORING…
Mentoring has been successful. I’m very glad it’s started. I began Mentoring a group of about ten women in October 2016. I love when women come together to nurture themselves and have a bit of self- introspection and “me-time”. It always helps keep be grounded and uplifts me a bit.😇❤ If you’re even the slight bit interested, we participate in discussions online video, in an intimate app, and in person if you live near Jenn. Send an email to: mentormysister@gmail.com for more information.  Also visit mentormysister.wordpress.com .  We will have our website up soon as well!

What I am LISTENING to…
Well my music life is shifting…
I am liking recently everything that even sounds like Todd Dulaney, an amazing gospel artist and musician Johnathan Reynolds. They inspire me immensely through song. And when my soul needs a lifting, that’s where I go.
How I’ve  been FEELING….
I’ve been feeling sort of isolated  near the end of 2016 with my illness. But I’ve had a lot of contemplative talk time with hubby, and  we’ve prayed , dreamed and searched one another’s thoughts together. It’s been real.

What I’ve Been WRITING…
I’ve been writing more.
It’s cool because my blogging experience is focused on self development and I write on those topics. I like writing about self-development and self-awareness, although I can see how others may be confused about my ‘self-focus’ cause I post a lot of selfies and talk about myself quiet a bit! Yet join me on this journey. It can be life-shifting!. (😄 👊👊) The journey is vast and enlightening. Why not learn from an introspective person who is trying to love herself more, about how she gets there, and what she makes more room for self care, confidence and self-awareness and self-love,in that space.

I’m LOVING…These days…I’m really loving just ” Being”. Possibly on any given day you can learn from me in that way and see I get a lot out of being, so that may not change. But that’s how self-awareness happens in this space of learning and loving yourself. Through Journal-sharing, Self-evaluatiion and Encouragement …we grow..

What I am PLANNING…
So that’s one  (of many areas) of my life where things are “just. not. perfect.” I am a planner at heart. Sometimes it just gets colluded, though. Not sure why…need to think a little more thoroughly about that. But I bought a planner for next year and I’ve decided for the first time I’m going to plan to write read, research and study. And all that is going in my planner.  This year. Yeah. Even the fun stuff I never get to do. Like pictures and scrapbooking. Just because I love memories and reminiscing. Cool. So that’s where do am. Thanks for listening.

I Am Enough Because I Care.self

Have you checked your “care” barometer, lately?

The “care” I am  talking about is this kind of care:

1.) Self-Care;

2.) Personal  Development as care;

3.) Care that involves you  being  a caring individual in our society.

But  sometimes that’s the norm – that we  forget about others.    We can barely care for ourselves; at times –  so how do we manage to reach out to others? I know. I am guilty.  I remember once,  I was in church, and the pastor was  saying if we want to make a difference:  “Ask God to help you be a blessing to someone else.”

It was deep that entire week, I felt like I was the most compassionate human being  I had been in a long while!  I had started something.  I  believe the lesson  was  to  show me that everyone has needs. And that sometimes we can  ANTICIPATE them, if we think ahead. 

I  am a person who cares for others, and I  am so grateful I do.  In many ways it’s my profession- as a social worker –  yet also in several ways, its also my  calling.   I care because someone cared for me. To be honest, I am not sure caring would come as easily as it does, or had I not gone through a few  situations to  cause me to be cared for. And have had  people reach out to me, in very merciful ways. I am very thankful God is in my life, because caring took on a new meaning  for me when I met a few sisters and brothers who love God, in a very   caring and  completely  selfless way.   I remember a time when I was “car-less”. Not careless.  (Haha)

My car broke down,  and  I was  living alone and I  was devastated. “How was I going to get to work?!

How was I going to go grocery shopping? And how was I going to take care of all my business?”       I already felt lonely this particular summer… and   I  took a break from  a relationship- a very needed one – that summer, and it was  HOT outside.  Things were looking pretty bleak for me. I believe it was a Friday, and my car caught on fire in the parking lot where I work. The engine just blew on me. I  remember having tons of hope, though. I was encouraged. Why… I don’t know, but I just began to count my blessings, because there were so many things going well for me, that  I couldn’t complain.   I wasn’t working that summer, and I  found out I could get employment during the summer months, and I wasn’t even expecting it.  As surprised as I was, I was completely hopeful things would work out.  I went to church that Sunday with a smile on my face, and telling every one it would work out, just by a testimony, and  I as thanking God. After church,  a  couple came to me and said , “Hey, I have a car you can use  its our second car, we don’t use it very much, but we’d like to bless you.” Another friend, said: ” I am going out of town for two weeks, and you are welcome to hold the keys to mine.” I was shocked! These two persons will be forever imprinted on my life and a part of my compassion  list of people who care..  I  still love them very much to this day. And not just because they gave me something, but because I saw God in their actions, and they trusted me with  something valuable.  They made  me smile and believe God even more.

I have had aunts, friends,  and  people in my life who knew me and knew how devastated, broken,  feeling unloved and  hurt I have been in situations and  man,… when you are down, and you have even more to struggle with,  as a result of being down –  it’s just good to have someone reach out, and love on you.   I  try to remember that feeling, because  it helps to  know you are in valued in that way and people  care about you. 

It feels  really, really good, to have someone come and give you a makeover to your office when you feel so disorganized – (my girlfriend Steph,  in Texas); or someone to give you the keys to a car when you  have none (my former church member friends in  NY), or for someone to buy you a meal when you are starving and have no money. ( My friend  and sister in Christ in everywhere America.) Smile. 

I was once even was kicked out of someone’s home, and had no place to go, and a friend stepped in and opened up their home to me!   I have been on BOTH ends, and I tell you, as  great as it felt to receive, it feels even better to give.

Just today,  I was  out with my best friend –  and we got  pedicures –  and we just had lunch together. ( Uh… that would be my husband.  But don’t tell him I told you that!)   Haha…. And that was self-care.  Was it expensive? Sure was… but it felt so good to be pampered, and his smile- worth a million to offer him that experience!   Having  done this for the first time,  for him – it was priceless.

We all need a little pampering sometime. Ask your self how you  can be instrumental in this process and give yourself some  time, once a month, at least to :

DO YOU.

Alright?

So I admonish  you, WATCH who God has sent to cross your path. Be aware of those around you. Love on them.  Pay attention to detail in your life, and how you benefit from being in right relationship with them. Feel their sorrow with them.  Ask them if they need anything. Call them and tell them you love them, even if it does mean feeling vulnerable  for a moment. It’s ok.  And you will  see them turn toward you, or turn a little closer towards God, if that’s the hope you desire to give. I have learned so much from such giving people in my life about how to treat others when they are down.

 And ASK yourself?

What’s my spirit and soul like today?

Do I feel drained, out of touch with myself?

Has life been a little foggy, lately…. Then COMMIT to self care.

God can work even greater in you, when you  are open and have such a surrendered heart.

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