Water & Sun.

Water and sun. They are so rejuvenating. If you’re ever feeling lost, or like the world is caving in, spend time in water near water, watching water the movement of it, the sound of it, even drinking water can be so necessary…

It’s so needed for the soul , spirit and preservation of our bodies. Perhaps that’s why we are surrounded by it on so many parts of the earth. Perhaps that’s why it has such a quality of drawing people near it, and we yearn for a sail upon it, or to swim in it. To take showers daily. To bathe.

Water is essential for living.

And even without sun, our days are dreary, and uneventful. Gloomy and discouraging, if you will. It’s not until the sun comes out we again, have vigor and satisfaction. When the sun comes out even on a cold wintry day, I am enlightened and I have hope. Sun is necessary for an essential vitamin we need to thrive . Vitamin D. Imagine that, a vitamin, made out of of the biggest lights in the sky. Someone thought of a your need – on a level you were not even fully aware of, with longevity .

This summer was so special to me. I spent a lot of time outdoors , and on the beach in quiet contemplation and in meditation with the elements of sun and water. Together, they taught me a lot. As I attempted to find answers to some things about life, it was near water where I learned to acquiesce. To let go of some thoughts and feelings I could not understand, even somethings I had trouble accepting about myself. I was able to release them. There was such a cleansing of my soul as I whispered thoughts and prayers to my Maker. Spend time in the elements of water & sun.

They were made for you .🌺

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Joy.

So next month I’m going to center on Joy. It’s the Sept. word of the month. I started months ago searching for this one, because I believe joy can be so illusive. People can say they have it but u until it’s full & encompassing your entire being I don’t really believe you have it, completely.

I’ve had a few joyful moments this month, and last month and so now I believe I can write about it with some experience.

Here are a few of my beliefs about true joy:

1. True joy involve gratefulness as a practice.

I don’t believe you can be truly appreciative of joy until you learn how to practice gratefulness. An appreciation of the big and the small is the requirements for joy, then giving thanks for its source .

2. Joy involves elation.

You must participates with something that makes you feel the elation over the course of a few hours or days or as part of an experience. True joyfulness stays within, and it lasts and it makes those things you enjoy desire to maintain and ebb and flow. A way to capture and continue in that pattern is what you desire to take in the future . True joyfulness involves meaning – making and reflection.

3. Joy is an experience . It has to register as something that makes you fulfilled, and involves the senses: touch , taste, smell, hearing and sight. It might be that all of these are expressed and or experienced at once, or they come in waves. Yet they are present.

And as the days go along in September, I’ll share the joy.

Stay tuned and engaged this September. I’m thinking i’m going to learn a lot.🌺


Complacency: Robber of Your Personal Strength

Complacency is the word this month! This was challenging word, because it quite possibly the first word I chose to look at closely that was not a word that was positive. But we will make the experience of communicating the positive- with this word, because it is what can make us change.

So…. what does it mean to be complacent?
It is defined as an often unjustified feeling of being pleased with oneself or with one’s situation or achievements
a momentary complacency that was quickly dispelled by the shock of cold reality.

What I don’t like abut complacency is that it slows you down. it limits your success, and it appears to make us very comfortable and it sneaks up on you and can be quite subtle.

In my head – I lived in a ‘FOG‘ – I was not successful in accomplishing things in my life due to being ‘too comfortable’ in my life. Either with my time, my actions, too much money, people enabling me, or struggling with my own identity – I wouldn’t put the work in… you know, do the things necessary for change. You could say I had a lazy mentality. Yeah, I hate the word lazy. I consider myself quite productive. Yet I was sadly not doing what was required to be whole. And this is where I would falter with complacency. I allowed complacency to become my ‘friend’, instead of my foe. And beause it was so subtle, it made me realize I had more WORK TO DO.

I am going to even venture to say : Complacency was my enemy because I was ‘numbing’ to some of the things in life I didn’t want to see. (…And I will talk more about that in another blog post.)

I am complacent with my energy. That’s my confession today. I tend allow things that are not very important, be quite important, or be more important than they should. And get this: THEY ARENT really very important!!

If I complacent with taking vitamins, eating well, or exercising – I tend to take these things for granted in terms of how I deal with my energy and make time for my health and betterment of myself.

In the space and time of resounding and being strong, I have been complacent with my words and actions. I was too comfortable in spaces, and convinced myself I was, ” comfortable”, but I really wasn’t. I was people pleasing. In those familiar spaces, I sacrificed myself – and when I did this, I was not allowing myself to speak up and speak my truth. All those are moments when I sacrificed myself. Do we want to sacrifice what is precious, what is on the altar of our hearts – this sacred space in our lives? Where “We matter”? If we speak our truth in the moment, we free ourselves. We have to grasp those moments where we tend to freeze or become silent, and we don’t speak – we sacrifice a part of our own identity. We have to say the things that matter.


A few synonyms for complacency: “bighead-edness”, conceitedness, ego, pompousness, pride, self-admiration, self-assumption, self-conceit, smugness, vainglory, vanity.”

Hmmm.. something to think about…

Antonyms for complacency: humbleness, humility, modesty. What a contrast. These are the things that often prevent the gem of ‘humility’ and change to give birth, in our souls.

Humbly submitted.

Nthabiseng AKA JennRene Owens

My Voice… Resounding.

Ever wished you had pushed record on the tape you played about losing your voice?


Well I did, today.
Not literally, but figuratively.
I just kept the recording playing in my mind of how important it is to say what I need to say, and say it firmly enough, that I’m heard.
But not so much to others, really. That I say it firmly enough that “I believe it”, it matters and it cements within my soul .And reverberates. To reverberate means to: reflect repel or ( to resist). Resistance can be a powerful thing of placed in a powerful situation. That’s when it involves permanence. It stays in place. Has impact. Or in other words, it involves making myself “happy”.

Some things in life are meant to be said. And others are not. There are some things when they are said, they resound reverberate . They matter .


Like when someone said after a man died on public television, that Black Lives Matter . And the whole world resounded and reverberated to that vibe , that truth….and responded with marches, and protests and people all over the world saying the same. Black lives matter . Some of them even saying it for the first time, and others really understanding it , for the first time.

When thoughts and feelings and a knowingness becomes alive… that’s when self – love matters, reverberates. for me. When “I matter”… I resound. And I reverberate . And you know, what that looks like is me deciding thatI will say what I feel , what I think , and I will “be what my name means”. So let me talk about my name: My African name. My name is Nthabiseng. Nthabiseng means “Make Me Happy”
I know, for you this may not mean a thing, but for me, this name when given to me, and I was crowned by it- it meant “Life- Change”.
And life- change meant that “I have volition. I may not have know this before , yet i’m here now to use what matters. It meant : “ I have agency.”

Selah. *{pause & calmly think of that}


You know, for women , this is not a topic women often choose to talk about. Words that make us even more complacent, like weak, low self esteem, and “ being silenced “ all come from places where we were ‘not allowed to become .’ Not allowed to be our true selves. Where we have painted our walls with shame – not opened our eyes for opening them would have meant we had to open our mouths too,… & recognizing that ‘speaking up’ may have been too costly in places before , where shame was bred.

Yet now, we are free.
We determine that being strong looks like having confidence using our voices and making use of our own volition, not as a ‘right’ – but as a necessity, a need and as we we evolve – we become women we never even imagined we could be.


And guys this goes for you all, too.


When you speak up, you evolve.
You prosper.
You grow.
You are Successful.
Selah.

my flowers blossoming.

Lead. Tell

Brene’ wrote that.

She is awesome because of how she uses her mouth. Her words.

Your life story leadership is your story. Yes and getting past the vulnerability of all, is the challenge.

Think about where you lead.

If you don’t lead, think about where you would like to.

Then, listen to someone else’s story and see how and why they lead.

The Reasons are embedded in the lessons learned; in the heartache…

And the joy found in letting it all go.

It will give you some insight.

Best Friends

So I have have never been ‘the best friend’ nor had many of them since 2nd or third grade. Then , some time around the age of 45, I came across a few friends in a new state and they became my hanging partners and accountability buddies.

Did I need to have them around ? Most definitely. We’re they best friends?

Certainly. I still never thought much about the term again in terms of describing a friend, and as I referred to them, I’d say : “you’re one of my best friends”… and I’d figure they’d know. But I figure in my lifetime if I have friends who have good intention and they have the qualities below- a few of them at least- then they’re a few of my best friends.

I believe friendships should be reciprocal. And if they don’t require we ‘glean’ love on one another and help each other to become better women, then what’s the point?

Here were a few qualities we gathered from our conversations earlier this year on one of our Zooms. if you like to join a zoom talk we have once a month , comment below and let me know. We are always talking about emotional wealth, psychological and self care and emotional resiliency. Join us!

how i harnessed myself through covid.

So when I decide to endure difficulty, I manage to “harness myself.” It’s a process.

And of course, I am not an easy person to manage. I once had someone tell me I was “high maintenance.”

I consider that a compliment. They just didn’t understand me. Looking back… I realize I was I literally a person of influence, and that “becoming” wasn’t my fault – they just didn’t understand how influence was made.

Influencers are complex. And it’s ok. I dont have to “become” like anyone else. I can be unique, and its ok.

Life in the wilderness….

If you look up one of the definitions of the word HARNESS in the dictionary – you will find these words:

Harness” – to bring under conditions for effective use; gain control over for a particular end: to harness water power; to harness the energy of the sun. Archaic.

 to array in armor or equipments of war.

So deep. “If I am preparing for a war…” I harness myself. I get all the right tools. Amazing.

I felt the grief of this war. It was saddening… painful. Yet freeing in many ways.

War… in fact means : “a state of armed conflict between different nations or states

or different groups within a nation or state.”

Fits perfectly.

I feel like this was what CoVid taught me to do: TO HARNESS myself.

Effectiveness is not taught always… sometimes its endured.

Other definitions are: to rein in, to “tackle, belt or fasten…” sounds Like a trip, right? )Haha)

Well… its interesting that when CoVid began I surely felt like I was on a journey. I knew if I didn’t arrest myself and begin to think about this as a journey, I might not make it through the journey. So… I put on my belt, and I endured.

Buckled up.

Prepared to be ‘sacked’.

Tackled some things.

Some I managed well.

Others… broke me totally apart.

Here are a few things I did for perspective:

I prayed hard.

I took the focus off myself.

I sat in complete quiet for an hour or more.

I napped a whole lot.

I talked to friends I loved.

I lamented with others who were hurting.

I prayed for “them”- whomever ‘them’ were…

I sat in the Sun.

Opened windows.

Went on snowy Walks.

Watched a lot of comedy.

Played with babies.

Prayed some more.

Talked to friends on the phone, & Zoom. {Zoom mostly}.

I cried.

Got lost in worship. {the most freeing…}

I went to random spots to eat, even while nervous.

I held a group on purpose.

I lamented to God and my husband, some more…

I spent time with old pictures.

I tried so hard to journal, …but it was hard.

I stayed up all night.. just writing and making new projects.

I prayed for everyone hurting from the death of George Floyd.

I prayed for George.

I cried some more.

I prayed for black men everywhere.

I prayed for the black men in my family.

I prayed for the 3 new baby boys in my family.

I prayed for their parents as they raised them.

I prayed for ways to find my voice amidst the pain.

I lamented to God.

I allowed myself to feel the hurt.

I thought deeply about hate… and how it kills.

I took care of my parents.

I focused on quality and not quantity.

I practiced gratefulness.

I took pictures with my camera.

I thanked God for the little things.

I changed my diet.

I thought a lot about my future.

I spent time working on projects.

I prayed for my enemies.

I trusted God and asked for a harnessing of my soul.

I am sure I did a whole lot more… but these things helped me quite a bit.

Selah.

Sister-Supported .

changed my life .

one day, a sister sent me this card. she told me she believed in my dream. she wrapped her arms around me and my vision , and embraced our possibilities.

it was grand.

I felt supported.

she told me she was proud of me, what i’d had planned, and believed it would make a difference .

major support.

when you are uncertain, yet hoping,, praying, trusting for the best.

doing it, despite the fear…

using fear as energy – to push you forward.

falling forward, using your self-created prayer team for hope.

it worked.💓

this was me,,in 2003…

believing , trusting, yet everything seemed to fall to pieces when I arrived in South Africa. Between jet lag, and my plans , I felt rather hopeless.

all I could do was sleep.

then I asked to find a phone cafe’. I called my sisters. told them my plans for this vision, asked for support .

and within a day, my situation turned around .

resurrected purpose, peace about the problem, and hope, we’re all mine.

my itinerary took shape,, I began to travel and speak, I had influence and supporters of the vision align with me.

more support.

some things have spiritual resolution.

that’s all.