I took a month – in December – to just quiet my mind. To stop the life of busyness that requires similar patterns of nothingness. To consider what’s important, and to befriend myself again. And I found something.
Treasures. I remembered why I existed. I found rest again. Inner rest. Physical rest too – but that was secondary. I remembered again what made me smile. Where comfort was. And hope, most of all – was renewed.
I also found comfort in encouraging friends. Some who were not doing so well, but others who were. And were practicing gratefulness -(as I was ) and reading up on issues that enlighten and encourage . I also found those friendships to be invaluable. And in my reaching found new friends. With inspiring and positive perspectives. Of course, my husband as friend – and beautiful were the conversations of my friends of accountability, fun and the friends who keep me focused.
I even asked myself: “Where have you been that you became distant, and untouched?” How did you get here? Where and when did the shallowness enter in? I don’t consider myself shallow by any means; yet as I considered the terrain lack of depth – the hard work I had not purposed myself to accomplish recently – I was unsatisfied.
So – I disconnected.
I usually am one who self-evaluates with regularity – however; my life had become so consumed with ‘living’ – I forgot about myself. Life began to fill up with “uncompassionate things” and issues that don’t really matter in the fullness of time. And gosh – fear – it seems to come in waves and tries to gather all the faith I ever built up within my soul – into a ball and this fear – caused me to retreat. So life takes on this form that tends to blend everything together, again.
And the cycles of life continue.
I have to retreat again.
So… I decided to step out and be BOLDER.
I was reading Michelle Obama’s book : “The Light We Carry” – she speaks to our “differentness”… and finds great value in being different. She says there’s essentially a certain kind of strength in differentness: “Your differentness will often precede you in to a room and people see it before they see you.. she continued by saying .. “ you figure out how to guard your energy, to count every step. And at the heart of this lies a head- spinning paradox: Being different conditions you toward cautiousness, even as it demands that you be bold. “
I love being different. So, now, I want to reach for being bold. The older I become, and the more time I spend with myself, the more I find I really like myself. And liking yourself is a good thing.
Take some time to consider why you are here on earth, what’s meaningful, involves connectedness with your purpose. There , you will find center.
I find myself – in centering myself.
I mean, this world will rattle you. it will shake you off your rocker. If you let it.
Did you know the opposite of the word ‘centered’ – is inhumane? So heck, I am trying to do everything I can to remain centered. And to be in tune with my God, myself, and the life I have been given here on earth. And how I have been positioned to serve.
Michelle’s words rung with me about being “bold”. There’s definitely a demand on my life at this juncture of a new year : enter 2023, … that I be BOLD.
And I have been so afraid to really be bold. Bold in being 55 years of age, bold in noticing my strengths and occupying them fully, bold in trusting my intriguing personality and creativity for all its worth.. I could go on.. but I don’t want to share all that here, cause I’m still discovering…( smile)
But you know what?
I am delighted.
I sincerely feel I am on to something pretty powerful. I have begun to practice principles and habits that energize me; make me happier, help me to smile, and find joy. And it is beginning to resound. And feel good inside. Not like the unraveling uncomfort of not being & feeling centered, of feeling inhumane and uncompassionate.
So finding joy and being bolder is just where my life shall reign in 2023.
And I think I will stay here til a miracle happens. (Or two..)
Oh yeah, my word for 2023 is BOLDER.
And my phrase: “I can be bolder, and I will be better.”
I will keep you up on the journey of where the better happens and also the boldness.
Happy New Year. And thank you, 2022, for being you.