Our Sister Retreat

Spiritual alert: We cannot reach the heights of our destiny unless we really know who we really are.

So.. one wonderful day in the Spring of 2017, my sister and I sought out ourselves and ways we could be present for one another. A few friends and I, desired to get together to help one another and just talk about our identity and what gets in the way of is growth.

I call these: “Identity Blockers“. These are things that stunt our growth and prevent us from getting bro the next place in God.

I remember wanting to leave Tulsa so badly… I could concentrate on nothing else. I was resistant, stubborn and no change would come my way. I had to learn how to acquiesce. It has been a long six or seven years, and I was just ready to move. I found it hard – very hard to acquiesce. To acquiesce means to : “To yield without protest.” This action and ‘stance’ – allows us to stay within the realm of understanding we need in order to finish the task at hand – to remain in purpose until God’s will is fulfilled. our spiritual mantles left untended and uncultivated, does not allow us to bloom, and will not bring us to a place of knowing how deep God’s love really is. We won’t manage to get to know the breadth and width and depth of God’s love in these places.

Surrender will not come, if we wallow in  struggle  and try to take situations into our own hands. Or we try to fix it… and remain in  continual despair, and frustration.  By nature of our decisions and choices we fight ourselves. We are not fighting others or fighting circumstances. We are fighting God and His ability to allow transformation in our lives. 

Identity blockers  can sabotage our leadership; and several of our spiritual gifts from developing.

Here are a few ways identity blockers can manifest in small ways and complicate our lives:

1. By hiding (isolation, or being too shy, or introverted.)

2. By telling lies – (the lies we believe, or the lies  we tell.)

3. By how we filter information/our perceptions, and interactions with others.

4. By a lack of socialization , and how we withdraw and isolate.

5. By lustful actions or sexual addictions

6. By greed .

7. By low self-esteem

8. By a lack of communication (of our true feelings.)

9. By people- pleasing or man-pleasing.

10. By pretense ( when  we feel have to pretend to be someone we are not.)

Why do these issues clog up our thinking? Effect our sense of identity and strength? Because they are ways we keep from pursuing our purpose. And the last thing the enemy of life wants is for us to succeed at being purposeful.

Here are a few ways  identity blockers manifest in larger more complex  ways and can involve a traumatic past or influences.

â—¦ Self-Hate

â—¦ Depression 

â—¦ Insecurity 

â—¦ Idolatry

â—¦ Fear

â—¦ Rejection 

â—¦ Shame 

â—¦ Abuse

â—¦ Our Thought Life-(the characteristic spirit of a culture or community. (So much of our thought life is influences generationally by family . )

Our spiritual mantles offer that higher level of security and blessedness that  offers us hope ; and sets us on the other side of our prosperity; walk-in in our true, inherent worth. We can then  learn how to be:


Walk in Wholeness,

We are Reconciled, 








Trusting of God, Self & Others,

Finding Resolve, 

Filled with delight

We are  Sufficent, 

We are  Confiding, 

We are Complete,

We are  Free, 





And Self-Possessed.

And let’s talk about self-possession. Because its the reason why we can be self-composed and successful in life, because we have this type of self-discipline. It helps remedy all the other unbalanced areas. And right now, I am speaking of wholeness. Because wholeness has everything to do with how your spirit is, as well as all of the other parts of you.

So we completed and exercise where we didn’t get bogged down by all these idiosynrasies, and we didn’t try to look in a mirror, but we saw our sister as she is. As she presents. And this is the way, that exercise worked.

We had a list of small blank dots where we wrote down words that came to us as we approached dour sisters, and placed them on her pages she carried. And when it was all over, everyone had stickers on their pages. More than they ever imagined! And it was very, very affirming! Sometimes it’s good to see yourself through the eyes of others. And also very necessary. Like a relief of fresh air… we all felt like we could bring again, because it brought such warmth to ourselves to see ourselves through neutral eyes. Eyes that didn’t know all about our past, or trash from the past, the ugly, and the uncomfortable things that made us stumble. Sometimes we have to ask our sister s and mentors what THEY see in our lives. Here is a video of something I spoke about in South Africa, that spoke to the identity of the people in the audience. The same applies here.

The sister here spoke about her identity and how it was challenged to the extreme. She wanted more.

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