Month: February 2020

Tulsa Time, Cafe’ Time.

Self- Care

I get excited about going to cafes. This pic was one of my favorites in Tulsa, Okla. (It has since shut down.)

I used to go and sit and write for hours. Drink tea, stare out windows.(As introverts do)…and be pensive. I recall how hard it was being away from home, and my family.

Yet local cafe’s were my solace time.

And across the street is a beautiful park. Right in the middle of downtown . With a beautiful pond & waterfalls .

I have good memories here. Above is a pic of me on that park, enjoying the sun.

Tulsa was a pretty awesome city. I complained initially about moving there, but it grew on me. And the cafes and the friends helped immensely .

Once, my girlfriend had a birthday party here, and we all ended up singing and having a great time.

Tulsa taught me to Receive.

And to yield. To allow things to grow. And to learn how to be content. Receiving isn’t easy, if you can find things wrong. Sometimes it means just learning to be grateful.

And that’s a process, too.

Take the beginning or ending of your day, offer it up as meditative time, think of three things you’re grateful for, release them into the atmosphere, & say thankful. Do this for approximately six months, & watch your ‘life rhythm ‘ shift.

You will be amazed at your level of contentment. And how happiness flows.

Be thankful.💜

Daily.

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My Journal (& Processing Life)…

Acheivement, Dreaming, Healing, intuition, Motivation

I guess I’m back to journaling .. and sharing my heart with you all here…☺️

It’s really a wonderful season I’m in, so I wanted to share here some of those blessings and the mindset God gives me as I make shifts and transitions .

Ever felt like you had to go back to the place you were from to heal some of the things in life that you never really addressed fully? I think that’s why I’m back home after almost 27 years of being away.

Although a bit daunting, it also been a breather .. a releasing of sorts… an enlivened moment of peace, joy and security as I find my niche in anew city and try to reclaim my roots and my personhood.

‘Settled’ was one of my words for 2020, as I entered a new year, and the word “Rooted” showed up as I sought out the word. I am planning on being Rooted.. Or expecting on being rooted, I should say.. looking for roots and foundation in a way I never have… asking .. seeking.. finding… they are all good as the revelations flow and this discovery finds ME.

Selah.

It’s going on my seventh month as a New Yorker again, and I’m quite delighted to be in a place of “Sincere Growth.” I’ve been planted in a great church that is concerned about my growth spiritually, and my purpose. It feels good. I love the smallness of it, and the people seem focused and ready to do exploits in God.

The pastor who spoke today spoke on getting ‘ planted ‘ and being with your tribe . I remember when I was in South Africa; although I didn’t know the people, it get so good to fool them for three mins of even, as I responded the South African language : when they said: Dumela Akai?“ (“How are you”? ) & if said firmly and loudly in response: “Kite!” ( pr.Keetay” ) -which means (Fine!)☺️💜It was as I was South African, they thought I was one of them. It was wonderful. And they were so kind to welcome me home.

‘Welcome home’ is such a blessing, they offer, when they welcome you back to the Motherland it does feel like home. Unexplainably, a place that’s foreign , could feel so familiar… And boy…was I welcomed! from the food to the parties, to the youth rallies, to eating the food, walking through flea markets, enjoying church services, having youth run up to me and hug me, and even in visiting foster homes as a social worker & speaking to youth about their dreams in schools.

As I contemplate on this journey, I also feel welcomed by God in N.Y. I feel His presence as being affirming, Loving, kind, as as I feel a shift in the familiarity, I feel “Welcomed.” By Him. He loves me.

And in this welcomed space is Healing. I’m just expecting it to be a part of the territory. I am.

Don’t be surprised what I share later this year as I become.

Watch out Rochester! I got something for ya!☺️👍🏾💜

Nature Does Not Hurry…

on being enough

Albert Einstein said this:

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. The good man is the friend of all living things. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”

I love nature.

I didn’t love it very much until the earth visited ME. And that happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma or I should say when I moved out west . It was after a time of grief , as well. I was seeking solace , and happened upon a place that called to me.

Nature.

Trees.

Water .

Lakes.

Sun.

Colors in the woods and cool sounds . (Even at midnight. )

I lived near a river, and the river became my beautiful place of refuge. Not being near the river any longer has shown me I took it for granted, somewhat, and also the spaces that I could have visited often .

Texas afforded me the same grace. And perhaps Texas was where it all began. I lived in a really cool home where I could see a great expanse, and I could cows watch cows over my back fence.

I believe our west the sky is brighter and there’s often more sun. Especially during the fall and winter months. During these prominent years, of growth and introspection, I grew quite a bit, and nature was my “go to” for self-care.

Photo by Kristi Bridges @1momentwiser

Once I lived right above the river , and the photo above was often my space of contemplation. Now I have new spaces for contemplation .

The spaces sort of vary, and are not as much woods and countryside , now that I live here in New York. We moved last year to prioritize family needs. And now, my space and time ventures back and forth between family, and activity and animals, and love .

Willow brings smiles to my face even when she doesn’t mean to .Shes a funny pup that loves water so much, they bought her a small pool. (She’s my brother’s dog. I haven’t gathered up enough courage to befriend a dog yet); however Willow is my go to when I need a little play. And boy, is she playful. She loves water and drinks very little of it, and prefers cooling off in it.

Life is Good!
Hubby (smile)

Ask , Believe …Receive.

Motivation

“Where was grace found in your past when you stepped out on faith? “she asked.

“It was a sort of Surrender, she said. “

“This is a word you should seek again and return to that helped manifest your dreams.” I was speaking to a mentor who helped direct me at a special time in life.

So I was still this morning.

And I listened to the little small, still voice in my heart . And kept whispering… “ Surrender”.

And the word came back to me in Silence:

“Consistency.”

And then a little while later…

“Hope.”

And finally…

“Treasure.”

All these words spoke to me and I allowed me not to take for granted any steps going forward to make them as intentional as possible, and to ‘not hold back. ‘

And I struggled here.

I thought about all the places consistency had failed me: I’d struggled with hope.. and treasures seem illusive.. and I was discouraged for one moment.

Then, I realized I did t need to produce anything, or make it happen. I just had to Surrender.

It’s a discipline, you know .

I must continually remind myself .

And stay

There.

💜

Selah.

I am Enough Because I am Authentic

on being enough

I am Enough Because I am Authentic

Being Authentic requires some self awareness, some grit, and intuitive knowledge about who you really are.

Authenticity requires you to be entrusted with something that people can depend upon with consistency; yet also its an innate ability to trust yourself, despite yourself. When you are truly authentic, you shine. You determine your limitations with skill, you know when you are well, and when you aren’t . And when you aren’t you decide : ‘its okay,…I can put this aside for now, and just be. ‘ I can spend a little time with myself and just decide I can plan a time out, or I if need a vacation, and I can plan it and go spend sometime with myself too.

So here are a few tips I have gained from being and practicing authenticity within:

  1. It’s an innate attempt to reach for Clarity.
  2. It’s taking the time to: Think.
  3. To Still Still in Quiet.
  4. To Receive Mindful Meditation.
  5. To Rest because you’re soul needs the Rejuvenation.
  6. To Celebrate Myself.
  7. To Validate & Encourage Myself, Especially when no one else does.
  8. To learn how to ‘Be’ with another who doesn’t mind sitting in quiet contemplation.
  9. To Forgive Myself.
  10. To be Patient with Myself.
  11. To find Hope even when I don’t feel like I can.
  12. I’ve learned to trust myself.
  13. Remember what’s genuine and ‘sound’ about me in my soul.
  14. To be self-aware: to ‘find a place for all those negative thoughts & the ones that are not good, throw them away – quite intentionally & consistently.
  15. To practice Self-Care.
Life in the Sun.

Authentic people are:

Dependable, Honest, Convincing, Sure (about somethings & especially themselves… ) Believable, Persuasive. Present.

And… most of all…they LIKE themselves.

I have learned to like myself. Eventually, then transfer that like to self-love… during the hard times in life, you sort of need it like a life preserver .

I learned I am one who endures… it’s in my nature to thrive. So i do t have to worry about falling and not getting back up.

I am one who also manages to figure out how to love myself and see hardship, disappointment , difficulty, pain, and discouragement – frankly, as something I can cherish, once I can see the lesson on the other side . And even then, when I can’t see it, I am still built to get through it. For me, that’s courage, that fidelity to myself, and it’s winning.

If I can figure out how to win – and still be honest with where I am, and be okay with the struggle of it all, and even not okay, if that makes sense… then I am a pretty authentic person.
Brene Brown says – being authentic is: ” to show up and let our true selves be seen.” I have been showing up for several years.

I suppose this is me. Thanks for letting me share.

Settled.

Happiness, spirit-speak

My 1 word is working me. Every year in January, Mentor My Sister Participants choose 1 word to carry throughout the year. Amazing .. the power of words . Taking you can express an intention, use a word to offer you direction, and things just take flight. Before 2020 ended, I was able to find a word I really needed in my soul for the soul’s sake.🦋

I just really, really needed a word that could help me through the year – feel “together”. I’d relocated and needed to have a place to rest.

Rest can be illusive, so that’s why my ‘great ask’ was to be settled… then “Placed.” Settled was something I needed more as I’d been uprooted from everything I need as community, awesome church home, great friends, work I really loved doing, (yet not perfect and ideal…) and just an overall sense of contentment. Yet I’m realizing that  contentment is not often enough.

There’s also joy.

You can be happy; yet not have fulfilling work. You can be content without feeling as if you’re fulfilled. When you’re settled, you have this inner joy that lasts. It just helps to be in a place that feels like good shoes. Like those you never want to let go.

(Have you ever had those kind of shoes?) Yes….

Am I speaking of peace, or something else?

Not sure yet. I’m not quite there . The closest I’ve come has been ‘inner joy.’

And hey… I thought I had it all…

Oh well… keep li in’ they say…