One Woman, Empowered.

I was out walking in sixty degree weather in December, and saw this view above. I decided to share here because I’m so happy living in a place where sixty and seventy degree weather happens in December.

It feels great. Yet I also miss the snow. Especially at Christmas. I’m a New York girl. So I grew up making snowmen, angels in the snow, playing with my dog and brothers in the snow, sledding, and you know, all the snow stuff!

I miss fun in the snow, but I’m also content being ‘adulting’ and living in a warmer environment. I believe weather helps my mood. A whole lot. And I remember the day I promised myself I would not be in NY much longer. I was scraping the ‘hardest ever’ ice off my windshield and about to curse- and I said “Never again!” This too shall pass… and it did. After traveling the world and seeing such beauty in other places and warmth, I decided it had to happen and happen, soon. So one more winter passed, and I was gone.

Being my own woman has changed my life. It’s been even more of a challenge, as I got married ( the second time) and figuring that out. Yet I’m grateful for the spaces in life that taught me how to do that. Yes, I may have learned the hard way, but what an adventure!

When i moved the first time, I even left my “then” boyfriend.. I wasn’t playing…..I was serious about making life changes. And I knew I wasn’t going to let anyone change that vision I had of being me. I contemplated long and hard that after living for someone else, previously…for about ten years of my life, and realized that chapter of my life was over. So I moved to DC. Washing DC was my place of loss and yet a place of giving birth. And ten months later I moved to Texas. I became a FREE woman, and …Loved every bit of it! Yeah, I followed a guy out there I loved, but I got my own place my own job, had just bought my own car.. and I was SET. If it didn’t work out , it would be because God didn’t want it to.

I don’t regret those changes.

They grew me up, matured me. Made me strong. And here I am. Happy. Still pursuing ME.



I am Enough & I am Insightful.

Where does your insight come from? I’d venture to say mine comes from asking questions I’m naturally curious . I tend to ask questions to understand better.

My mom says I would in the past, come in the house from playing, ask her a question, then run right back outside.

That was me.

It’s because I’m always thinking.

Being insightful requires  that we be intuitive human beings. I believe innately we all have a desire to understand the hard things in life.

We use questions to help us think clearly. We consider…and then we make decisions. For a very long time, I did not make decisions. I chose not to. Because I was too afraid. I decided that if I made a decision someone would suffer, and  most likely that would be  someone I loved. And of course, it would be me, so I just didn’t. Yet not deciding , was deciding.

History: I was in a relationship where I wasn’t treated very well, and  I chose to stay. I did think of leaving …more than once. Yet I suffered.  I decided the day I made the decision to move on, that I would not be in a relationship again until I knew “who I was”, in that relationship. Because I had gone so long in this relationship without an identity. So long… and didn’t change anything about myself. How crucial it was, to own my soul.  Every time  I gave my soul away, I would give away a piece of myself. I decided that I would work on  changing myself, and start dreaming. I wrote down on a piece of paper all the things that were wrong.  It turns out , those things were the things that hurt me the most, and had begun to leave scars. So I needed to leave, in order to no longer be treated that way.

And so I did. The day I chose to leave, I believe my destiny began to be released. I began to “feel andbe ” happier in my everyday life.  I felt a  weight lift off of my chest. I began to smile more, and care less about the person who hurt me, and more about myself first; because for the first time I saw surprise in their eyes. They couldn’t predict my actions. And that was good stuff.  And that surprise to me was a sign I was doing something right. So, I  began to move along and do more out of the box – selfish,  yet self-loving acts.

Before I left  the relationship, I was really meditating on hearing my spirit more, and one of the  phrases I heard often was: “Take care of  the God in you.” The God in me, was loving, caring full of strength, love and full consideration of how to love others back in a righteous way, and that, I wanted to model for others, and for my children, one day as well.  I began to keep my ears keen for people who demonstrated the same kind of love for me, and  on the weekend of October 14th, 2005, I heard it. It as very keen, and it was  exactly what I was looking for. Although l really didn’t expect it so soon. A man I didn’t know very well, (yet considered a friend from a leadership event a year before) , began to speak to my heart. We talked  for hours that weekend. And it was as if every moment was absorbed  through my ears, into my skin, my intuition, and  straight into my heart. He spoke to my worth. That honorable and  distinguished man became my husband.  All of the junk  and the misconceptions and lies were washed out of my brain and my head was clear enough to hear it.

I decided that day, I would begin a new journey to loving me, because I knew once I began to truly love myself,   I would feel completely deserving o my own good. And even when opportunities presented, I would find them to grace my life with complete favor.

Insight involves  three beautiful life-changing  factors:

  1.  Intuition. Intuition  is described as :“the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.”There are some issues we experience in life, we just know. We don’t know ‘how we know, but like my former pastor in Texas used to say:“We just know it in our knower.” I have collected  and meditated even, upon this thought over and over when I needed to make a the right decision, and  depending upon my “knower” was  always what held me upright and allowed me to keep my head up – without shame, in the end.
  2. Knowledge.Knowledge because it takes  the sifting of what we learn via our intuition, to help us move forwards without disgrace. and move forward with our heads held high in confidence we are moving in the right direction.
  3.  Understanding. Understanding is like to icing on the cake. Once you have  a good taste of it, it helps  sort of stays with you and gives you  that” forever-flavor’ in life.  If you have forever” flavor”, you have  wisdom. The Bible says ” The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” ESV. It also tells us  to even not rely on our own understanding. I have seen far too many rely on it, and fall back on shame. And often disgrace, for a lifetime.

When you don’t have these three awesome factors,  you  fall upon inexperience, naivete’  you become neglectful, it effects your reputations and you  become really insensitive towards others. I used to always pray for God to keep me humble, Sometimes I believe the results of those prayers today are embedded in my character,  with insight, because I  listened within, and I heard myself speak in my heart, as well as my soul.

I  prompt you today:

To LISTEN to yourself.  Remind yourself constantly of what you believe in, and then…  walk it out.

As long as it protects your thought life, your reputation, your spirit, and your life hold on to what you believe!


When was the last time you listened to someone else before yourself, and how much did it cost you?